Hey there. How was your weekend? Mine was filled with revelations. See, the weekend is generally the time I watch the most movies and television, usually compiling a list in my head of notes and observations that would otherwise go unheard. Aren’t you lucky?

Revelation #1: You Don’t Mess With The Zohan is a funny 20-minute idea stretched out to 2 hours.

As with all Adam Sandler movies, story is irrelevant so long as it produces laughs. But man, I can’t quite get over the incredible bungle of Zohan’s storyline, which featured Sandler as an elite soldier leaving Israel to cut hair in New York. I liked Zohan in the beginning. It was fun to see Sandler portray a ‘character’ instead of just playing a version of himself as he has in his last few movies (Reign Over Me being the exception). Zohan can catch a hacky sack in his butt cheeks, then battle terrorists by catching bullets with his teeth. He has a battle with his arch-nemesis, a terrorist played by John Turturro, where they play paddle ball with grenades. And that’s all in the first 15 minutes. It’s all really silly, but the locations and over-the-top nature feel fresh.

Then Zohan goes to New York, and we fall right into any cookie-cutter Sandler movie from the past 6 years. Look, there’s Rob Schneider! Look, it’s Nick Swarsdon! Hey, it’s an impossibly hot girl who has a contrived, requisite romance with Sandler! There are also a ton of jokes about Zohan’s crotch and how he uses it on old ladies. It’s funny at first, but the filmmakers take a sledge hammer to your funny bone, pounding the same spot over and over again until it’s too painful to bear. By the time the end rolls around and John Turturro and Adam Sandler are inconceivably joining forces to battle a mustachioed Dave Matthews (which also makes Zohan an aider and abettor of terrorists), any sane moviewatcher would tap out from the torture.

Revelation #2: Road to Perdition is Overlooked Awesomeness

I know Road To Perdition is sometimes dismissed as Oscar bait by some, but Sam Mendes’ follow up film to American Beauty is pretty bad ass. I love seeing Tom Hanks as a hit man and a conflicted Paul Newman as his father figure forced to put a hit out on someone he loves. It’s a robust cast (Oh, is that Bond himself, Daniel Craig??), and a solid gangster movie. Not to mention, any movie that can turn Jude Law into a balding, pale dude with a death fetish and no chance of getting ladies has my support.

Revelation #3: Circuit City Goes Bankrupt, Nerd Gets His Revenge!

That’ll teach them to refuse a sale again!

Revelation #4: Guitar Hero: World Tour: Twice As Dangerous As GH III

Plastic Guitar + Plastic Drums = Hours of my life destroyed. Thanks a lot, video games!

This entry was posted on Monday, November 10th, 2008 at 11:14 am and is filed under Film, Weekend Revelations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Hey there. How was your weekend? Mine was filled with revelations. See, the weekend is generally the time I watch the most movies and television, usually compiling a list in my head of notes and observations that would otherwise go unheard. Aren’t you lucky?

Revelation #1: You Don’t Mess With The Zohan is a funny 20-minute idea stretched out to 2 hours.

As with all Adam Sandler movies, story is irrelevant so long as it produces laughs. But man, I can’t quite get over the incredible bungle of Zohan’s storyline, which featured Sandler as an elite soldier leaving Israel to cut hair in New York. I liked Zohan in the beginning. It was fun to see Sandler portray a ‘character’ instead of just playing a version of himself as he has in his last few movies (Reign Over Me being the exception). Zohan can catch a hacky sack in his butt cheeks, then battle terrorists by catching bullets with his teeth. He has a battle with his arch-nemesis, a terrorist played by John Turturro, where they play paddle ball with grenades. And that’s all in the first 15 minutes. It’s all really silly, but the locations and over-the-top nature feel fresh.

Then Zohan goes to New York, and we fall right into any cookie-cutter Sandler movie from the past 6 years. Look, there’s Rob Schneider! Look, it’s Nick Swarsdon! Hey, it’s an impossibly hot girl who has a contrived, requisite romance with Sandler! There are also a ton of jokes about Zohan’s crotch and how he uses it on old ladies. It’s funny at first, but the filmmakers take a sledge hammer to your funny bone, pounding the same spot over and over again until it’s too painful to bear. By the time the end rolls around and John Turturro and Adam Sandler are inconceivably joining forces to battle a mustachioed Dave Matthews (which also makes Zohan an aider and abettor of terrorists), any sane moviewatcher would tap out from the torture.

Revelation #2: Road to Perdition is Overlooked Awesomeness

I know Road To Perdition is sometimes dismissed as Oscar bait by some, but Sam Mendes’ follow up film to American Beauty is pretty bad ass. I love seeing Tom Hanks as a hit man and a conflicted Paul Newman as his father figure forced to put a hit out on someone he loves. It’s a robust cast (Oh, is that Bond himself, Daniel Craig??), and a solid gangster movie. Not to mention, any movie that can turn Jude Law into a balding, pale dude with a death fetish and no chance of getting ladies has my support.

Revelation #3: Circuit City Goes Bankrupt, Nerd Gets His Revenge!

That’ll teach them to refuse a sale again!

Revelation #4: Guitar Hero: World Tour: Twice As Dangerous As GH III

Plastic Guitar + Plastic Drums = Hours of my life destroyed. Thanks a lot, video games!

This entry was posted on Monday, November 10th, 2008 at 11:14 am and is filed under Film, Weekend Revelations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.