Hey there. How was your weekend? Mine was filled with revelations. See, the weekend is generally the time I watch the most movies and television, usually compiling a list in my head of notes and observations that would otherwise go unheard. Aren’t you lucky?

Revelation #1: The Incredible Hulk Was Incrediblah.

I loved the first hour of The Incredible Hulk. Ed Norton trying to control his rage, escaping danger on the rooftops of Brazil, seeking out a cure to his Jekyll and Hyde ailment. But once The Abomination started to take over the movie, my eyes glazed and my ears bled. Wall-to-wall CG action wrestles the movie away from Norton and turns it into a cartoon. There are times when Hulk looks believable. Usually in shadows. I know in this day and age there’s no other way to make The Hulk. People would be disappointed with a Hulk the size of Lou Ferrigno, but there’s gotta be a more effective way to present this creature. The most interesting part about The Hulk is Bruce Banner. Once he transforms, it’s just a lot of yelling and ruining of city property. The real problem came when Tony Stark showed up. Robert Downey Jr. just lights up the screen, and something’s wrong when a character from another movie shows up, and makes you wish that you were watching his movie instead.

Revelation #2: I Hereby Revoke My Matinee Recommendation of Strange Wilderness

Wow. I had low expectations for this movie, but thought perhaps I could find a hidden gem in the vein of Grandma’s Boy. What I found was something that barely resembled a movie. Did they lose a few pages of the script? Did they even have a script? The movie completely wastes Jonah Hill, who is flat-out awful in this movie. Not one thing he says is funny. There is no plot, simply a collection of scenes held together by fake nature movies. The main plot is wrapped up in the first hour, and we’re left with about 16 more minutes of nonsense before ending with a blooper. Literally. The movie ends with everyone breaking character and cracking up. I can admit when I was wrong. In the case of Strange Wilderness, I really had to suffer for that mistake.

Revelation #3: I Am Seriously Addicted To Dr. Mario

I’ve always loved Dr. Mario, but this is getting ridiculous. If you looked at my Wii Playing Time, it would resemble a time card. The outrageous hours I’ve played can be blamed on the inclusion of online play. You can battle people all over the world, and a rematch is as easy as clicking a button. It’s not unusual for me to play the same person over and over for a half hour straight. Somebody call for help. I haven’t seen the sun in three days. I dream about falling pills. The only people I’ve seen are Miis. My only interactions have been canned online responses such as “Good Game!” and “Ouch!” And after all these wasted hours, the only thing I’ve learned is that I’m not even that good.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 16th, 2008 at 10:27 am and is filed under Film, Video Games, Weekend Revelations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Hey there. How was your weekend? Mine was filled with revelations. See, the weekend is generally the time I watch the most movies and television, usually compiling a list in my head of notes and observations that would otherwise go unheard. Aren’t you lucky?

Revelation #1: The Incredible Hulk Was Incrediblah.

I loved the first hour of The Incredible Hulk. Ed Norton trying to control his rage, escaping danger on the rooftops of Brazil, seeking out a cure to his Jekyll and Hyde ailment. But once The Abomination started to take over the movie, my eyes glazed and my ears bled. Wall-to-wall CG action wrestles the movie away from Norton and turns it into a cartoon. There are times when Hulk looks believable. Usually in shadows. I know in this day and age there’s no other way to make The Hulk. People would be disappointed with a Hulk the size of Lou Ferrigno, but there’s gotta be a more effective way to present this creature. The most interesting part about The Hulk is Bruce Banner. Once he transforms, it’s just a lot of yelling and ruining of city property. The real problem came when Tony Stark showed up. Robert Downey Jr. just lights up the screen, and something’s wrong when a character from another movie shows up, and makes you wish that you were watching his movie instead.

Revelation #2: I Hereby Revoke My Matinee Recommendation of Strange Wilderness

Wow. I had low expectations for this movie, but thought perhaps I could find a hidden gem in the vein of Grandma’s Boy. What I found was something that barely resembled a movie. Did they lose a few pages of the script? Did they even have a script? The movie completely wastes Jonah Hill, who is flat-out awful in this movie. Not one thing he says is funny. There is no plot, simply a collection of scenes held together by fake nature movies. The main plot is wrapped up in the first hour, and we’re left with about 16 more minutes of nonsense before ending with a blooper. Literally. The movie ends with everyone breaking character and cracking up. I can admit when I was wrong. In the case of Strange Wilderness, I really had to suffer for that mistake.

Revelation #3: I Am Seriously Addicted To Dr. Mario

I’ve always loved Dr. Mario, but this is getting ridiculous. If you looked at my Wii Playing Time, it would resemble a time card. The outrageous hours I’ve played can be blamed on the inclusion of online play. You can battle people all over the world, and a rematch is as easy as clicking a button. It’s not unusual for me to play the same person over and over for a half hour straight. Somebody call for help. I haven’t seen the sun in three days. I dream about falling pills. The only people I’ve seen are Miis. My only interactions have been canned online responses such as “Good Game!” and “Ouch!” And after all these wasted hours, the only thing I’ve learned is that I’m not even that good.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 16th, 2008 at 10:27 am and is filed under Film, Video Games, Weekend Revelations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.