5 Worst Comic Book Movies On The Planet
In celebration of Iron Man’s release on Friday, I thought it would be appropriate to put out my personal list of Top 5 Best and Worst comic book movies. With a high possibility that Tony Stark may dislodge someone from the Top 5, I thought I’d get my list out there first before he has a chance. And, just because people love “Worst” lists, I’ll start with my 5 most hated comic book movies.
#5. Fantastic Four
Okay, so obviously the clip above isn’t from the feature I’m referring to, but since the 1994 version was never actually released, it’s disqualified. Instead, we’ve got 2005’s Fantastic Four. Talk about wasted opportunities. Here you have four characters with really cool abilities and what do they do with them? Stop traffic. Seriously, the action in Fantastic Four is relegated to each character simply showing off what they can do, with no real practical application or reason. I was never a huge F4 fan, and this movie did nothing to convince me otherwise. I was so disappointed in this movie that I didn’t even bother seeing the sequel, which is probably the only reason it’s not on this list.
#4. Spider-Man 3
Maybe I’m to blame for my own hyping of Spider-Man 3. Coming off of Spider-Man 2, I had such high hopes for this movie that almost every aspect of it failed. There was too much crying, too much dialogue through phone conversations, too many characters, too little plot development, too little respect paid to Venom, and too much Emo Peter Parker. Seriously, dude is overtaken by an alien suit and all it does is give him eyeliner, make him dance, and become a jazz pianist? I would say there were roughly 800 tears shed in this movie, 200 of them by me in the theater. While not nearly as bad as the other movies on my Worst List, Spider-Man 3 was a huge disappointment, and sometimes that hurts more.
#3. Spawn
I’m very pleased Spawn has become a movie time forgot. I saw this in theaters, and having been a huge fan of the HBO cartoon series, was fired up to see a dark, live action vision of The Devil’s soldier. Instead, I got Martin Sheen in a beard, John Leguizamo in a fat clown suit blowing farts, and a sad, whiny Spawn. Oh, and it was PG-13.
#2. Catwoman
Oh. God. No. Don’t even try watching all of the above clip. 20 seconds is all you need.
#1. Batman and Robin
1997 could have been the year that killed the comic book movie. First Spawn, then…Batman and Robin. If you ever wanted a manual on how to kill a successful movie franchise, B&R gives it to you step by step (Step One: Put Nipples On Everything). This movie is a disaster from the first frame — overcrowded, campy, and a definitive low point for both Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman George Clooney. That’s quite a feat!
Other movies to narrowly miss my personal Bottom 5: The Crow: City of Angels, Steel, Ghost Rider, Elektra, Superman IV, and Judge Dredd. Most of them just didn’t have high enough expectations to insult me. Although The Crow 2 was close. Top 5 Best Movies coming up next.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Fantastic Four, Rise of the Silver Surfer is not only the absolute worst Superhero movie I have ever seen, but it the worst movie I have ever seen period. I refuse to even present an argument except to say that if you think Peter Parker dancing was bad, just watch the scene with Mr. Fantastic cutting a rug. Both the Silver Surfer and Galactus, possibly one of the coolest and grandest of all villians/misunderstood herald of all time are reduced to smoke, shadows, and cliches. This movie is TERRIBLE. This movie is flat out HORRIBLE. I couldn’t find a worse way to spend 90 minutes if I tried.