Holy. Shit. Okay. I know last week I said it’s difficult as a South Park fan to be shocked anymore, but five minutes into Wednesday’s episode I was proven horrifically wrong. Didn’t see that coming.

This week’s episode, titled “Britney’s New Look” delves into our culture’s endless obsession with celebrities. In the sickening new age of TMZ, Perez Hilton, and any other blogger smart enough to open Microsoft Paint and draw cum shots on people’s faces, our thirst for celebrity blood is reaching critical mass. “Britney’s New Look” simply takes its rightful end..You know, with a little corn harvest and camel toe thrown in for good measure.

It open with the boys being forced by Randy Marsh, Stan’s dad, to watch a presidential debate. The debate is interrupted by the local news to cover BRITNEY WATCH! It turns out Britney was trying to get away from the pressures of Hollywood by going camping in Colorado. Instead of getting away, Britney is photographed pissing on a ladybug. There’s an awesome, recurring gag about people’s reactions to the photos. The newscaster mentions that the offensive bits have been blurred in the photo, and when they cut to the pic, Britney’s face is blurred instead of the ridiculous stream of piss shooting out of her. The boys learn that the guy who took the photo sold it for $100,000, so they want their share and decide to get a picture themselves.

At the beginning of the episode, I started thinking back to the Paris Hilton episode, where Butters was forced to dressed up as Mr. Biggles the bear. Just as that thought pops in my head, here comes Butters dressed like a squirrel. Their plan is to get a picture of Britney taking a dump on a squirrel. God, I love Butters. The boys sneak in the room pretending to be her kids, and when Britney finds out she’s been duped again, South Park takes a step beyond Cartman giving Kyle AIDS. Britney pulls out a shotgun from behind her back and puts it to her head. For sure I thought the kids would stop her. But oh no. Britney blasts her head clean off (Well, sort of). What follows is the greatest 30 seconds of silence ever. The four kids stand, wide-eyed, mouths agape, in pure shock. And that, dear nerds, is how you shock.

But wait, there’s more! Because Britney’s not dead! The rest of the episode, Britney only has half a head, much like a zombie from the Dawn of the Dead remake. Instead of talking, she just gurgles, sounding a lot like Scuzzlebutt. So, for literally 20 minutes, Britney Spears is running around with only a lower jaw. The paparazzi and media seem to ignore this malady, but continue to point out her camel toe and scars.

At this point, the kids just want to get Britney to safety. Their plan is to take her to the North Pole, but the episode takes another twist to hammer its point home. It can never just be a straight story about a pop star with half a head on South Park, can it? It’s revealed there’s a giant conspiracy to kill Britney, or at least, a need for her to die. The hordes of people chasing her relate her imminent death to human sacrifice, and point out that she needs to die for the corn harvest to be good this year. I guess Trey Parker figured, ‘Well, this episode is batshit crazy as it is, why not throw a corn harvest in there?’ It all ends with a frightening scene of the mob surrounding Britney, closing in on her and taking pictures of her until she curls up and dies. It’s spot-on satire, even if I don’t completely agree with the sentiment.

Hit Play To Hear Britney Talk!

This was a quintessential South Park episode; shocking, twisted, sharp, and hilarious. It makes some great observations about our celeb-obsessions and the media’s contribution to it, and nobody can say Britney Watch! like Trey Parker. I only have one complaint. Referring back to the Paris Hilton episode, Matt and Trey railed against her as a talentless whore who was teaching children how to act like spoiled sluts. But this episode, they take the side of celebrities who are unable to escape the spotlight. It’s hard to distinguish some of Britney’s behavior with what Paris has done in public, so their stance loses some of its impact. You’re sending a mixed message if you humiliate Britney Spears by having her stumble around headless for 20 minutes, and then tell people to lay off in the same episode. But that’s what’s great about South Park. They’re equal opportunity offenders whose sole task is to point out how ridiculous both sides are, and let Nerds like me try and sort it out.

Britney’s New Look Rating: 35 Arbitrary Stars out of 40.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 20th, 2008 at 12:49 am and is filed under South Park Reviews, TV. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.