Punisher: War Zone is a fairly vile, irredeemable movie. I’m almost in shock it was directed by a woman. Within the first five minutes, Frank Castle has sliced off a man’s head, broken a woman’s neck, scalped a dude, and spun upside down on a chandelier showering bullets into henchman who are either really curious or are being pushed into the room against their will. If they just been patient and waited, Frank would have wasted his ammo on the gaudy vases and mirrors. They’re all guilty of something though, so it’s okay (Even the woman, who I imagine wasn’t at a mob dinner just for the pasta). There isn’t much to take away from the story or characters, except we learn that when Frank Castle punches someone in their face, their head explodes. It’s laughable, audacious, and poorly scripted. But guess what? I like when heads explode.

If you took all the effort The Dark Knight made to feel realistic and did the exact opposite, you’d end up with War Zone. It doesn’t take place in our world. The mobsters are more insulting to Italian Americans than an Olive Garden commercial, Jigsaw looks straight out of Dick Tracy, and Frank Castle can stroll through the city armed to the slicked-back hair with guns and grenades without anyone noticing. Even the actors treat the material like they’re delivering lines to the back of an auditorium, with one exception. Ray Stevenson makes for the best Punisher yet, at least physically. He doesn’t really say much, except when expressing his disdain for God. He barely even quips! It’s probably best that way, as Frank Castle has always let his weaponry do the talking. The character is treated like a shark; constantly moving and killing. He’s given maybe three humane moments, when remembering his slain family, regretting the accidental murder of an undercover cop, and protecting a little girl. They’re brief though, ’cause there are people to be punished.

And punished they are! Anyone who complained that previous Punishers were too light on the gore will get their fill. Here you will see every part of the body impaled, shot, stabbed, bitten, and exploded. The movie even ends on a joke about splattered brains! Sometimes violence happens for no reason, like when Frank and an FBI agent have an unarmed mob henchman in custody and Frank decides to blow his face off with a shotgun while holding a child. Or when he walks into Microchip’s apartment and finds his mom missing 3/4′s of her head. By the way, I was pleased to see Microchip finally portrayed, even if his chances of seeing screen time in a sequel are greatly diminished.

I can usually judge my enjoyment of a bad movie by how much I laugh during it. I laughed a lot during War Zone. It’s a violent comic book come to life and doesn’t try to be anything more. Once you realize that, the movie becomes pretty fun.

It’s weird to watch Punisher: War Zone just a few days before The Dark Knight comes to DVD. The Punisher and Batman aren’t too different from each other. They both seek vengeance for the murder of loved ones, both are seen as vigilantes punishing the wicked, and they both love black. The fundamental difference is that Frank Castle kills. And this difference might be the reason their movies are so different tonally. Batman has something to lose, and people can relate to that. He’s able to be put in a real-world context. A serious Punisher movie would lose people after the first frame. How can you justify a cold-blooded murderer running around your city, no matter whose side he’s on?

You can’t, which is why we cheer the fantasy of The Punisher popping heads like zits, then go on with the rest of our day!

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 6th, 2008 at 6:10 pm and is filed under Comics, Film, reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.