Well, this was inevitable, but painfully aggravating regardless. In a continuing effort to rehash and destroy beloved horror franchises, New Line and Michael “I Can Do It Better!” Bay are digging up the charred corpse of Freddy Krueger for a remake of the original “Nightmare on Elm Street.”

The original Nightmare is a classic, and it spawned a few good sequels (Dream Warriors is sweet), but there’s no question that Freddy turned into an amateur hour stand-up comedian towards the end.

The real problem I have with all these remakes (Texas Chainsaw, The Hitcher, Halloween, Amityville, etc.) is that they are PURELY money-driven. There is no artistic redemption in these films because the originals are so ingrained in pop culture. They have achieved the height of artistry in the horror genre. Raping these franchises for “re-boots” has nothing to do with introducing it to a new audience, or pleasing fans, or even doing the series justice. It is ALL about money. Apparently original ideas are hard to come by, so Michael Bay figures, “Fuck this. Why not go right to the source??”

Because of this, I refuse to acknowledge these remakes. (Except “Dawn of the Dead,” which seems to be appreciated across the board for treading that fine line of innovation and imitation.)

By the way, Bay is also producing remakes of “The Birds” and “Friday the 13th.” God hates nerds.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 31st, 2008 at 1:55 am and is filed under Film. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.