I’ve been putting off talking about this all morning. But now it’s totally official. Will Smith’s son Jaden is starring in a remake of The Karate Kid. Let me repeat that. The Karate Kid is being remade with Jaden Smith in the role of Daniel Larusso. Macchio was 23 when he made the original. Jaden is…10. Mr. Miyagi immortalized Pat Morita and was even nominated for an Oscar. He’s irreplaceable. Billy Zabka was one of the best villains of the ’80s as Johnny “Sweep the Leg” Lawrence. Maybe he can reprise his role and become truly evil by putting a beat down on a 10-year-old.

I get it. It’s called The Karate Kid. This time, he’s actually a kid! Apparently this new movie is going to “borrow elements” from the original, but alter things to suit little Jaden. If that’s the case, they pretty much have to change the entire movie. The themes of the original Karate Kid are not age-appropriate for a 10-year-old. What about the Elizabeth Shue storyline, where Daniel feels inadequate because her family is well off? Is Jaden going to have a play date with a rich, child beauty pageant contestant? How about all the lessons Miyagi teaches? All of a sudden, waxing the floor and painting the fence turn into child labor! And what about the scene where Miyagi gives Daniel a car for his birthday? Is he going to give Jaden a Power Wheels Jeep?

God, I hate awful remakes.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 at 11:31 am and is filed under Film, Rant. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.