Well, you knew someone had to do it. Ever since the writer’s strike ended, I’ve been waiting for shows to return so we could get the requisite strike jokes out of the way. Naturally, “South Park,” a show that wasn’t even on strike, got to it first (”South Park” doesn’t fall under WGA regulations). After last week’s return to form, I feel like “South Park” stumbled a bit with this episode. While there were some really funny moments and it was nice to see someone show a different perspective of the strike, it was ultimately unfocused.
The episode, titled “Canada On Strike,” thinly veils Canadians as the Writers Guild, going on strike because the world neglects Canada Appreciation Day. I say thinly veiled because they refer to themselves as “The WGA — The World Canadian Bureau.” They want recognition for their hard work, and some of that internet money everyone talks about. So they stage a big musical number, as Canadians on South Park are prone to do, and strike against the world.
When the kids realize they won’t get new Terrance and Phillip episodes (and Cartman realizes they may have to watch “Family Guy”) Kyle gets on the phone with the head of the WGA (That’s the World Canadian Bureau) and tells him they’ll make money for Canada on the internet. The boys make a viral video of Butters singing “What? What? In Da Butt” and it becomes an internet sensation. The episode picked up for me here, because I can’t resist Butters in costume.
Once it’s a hit, the boys go to collect their theoretical money and find themselves in a waiting room with all the other internet sensations looking to claim cash for their videos. Everyone’s there, including the Numa Numa Guy, The Tron Guy, the Laughing Baby, the Star Wars Kid, the Leave Britney Alone Guy (or is it Girl?), The Chocolate Rain Guy, Afro Ninja, Sneezing Panda, and, my nephew’s favorite, the Dramatic Prairie Dog. At first it looked like a Meet The Spartans type spoof, where they just referenced each internet sensation. Then the agenda became clear: Trey Parker hates internet sensations. They start fighting over who has more YouTube hits and end up violently murdering each other. I was laughing my ass off when the Numa Numa guy was fighting Tron, but I could have done without Chris Crocker.
The kids get their check for 10 million “theoretical” dollars, and bring it to the head of the WGA. After realizing it will do nothing to help them, the WGA leader breaks down, and it’s up to the kids to negotiate with world leaders to end the strike. They end up giving out coupons to Bennigans and a bag of bubble gum, equating the (real) WGA’s new deal to an insignificant gesture. The episode ends by repeating an earlier bit between Terrance, Phillip, and the WGA leader that was very similar to Adam Sandler’s old sketch Buddy.
Unfortunately, whenever “South Park” centers an episode on Canada, it fails to deliver the goods. There were a few good spots, like the musical sequence and the news broadcast of the Danish coming to America to take Canadian jobs, proclaiming Denmark as the “Canada of Europe.” But that’s where it ended. Canadian jokes were already mined in the South Park movie. Here, they’re used as a front for the Writers Guild and it was a stretch to have Canada asking for internet revenue. Trey gets his shots in at the WGA, pointing out that the strike cost them more than their new deal compensates, and that it’s nearly impossible to quantify internet earnings and share in theoretical profits. I just wish there was a funnier way to do it.
South Park Canada On Strike Review: 20 Arbitrary Stars Out of 60
As the NBC lineup was announced today, word came in that “Friday Night Lights” will be returning for a third season!! Oddly enough, NBC will share the show with Direct TV, and Direct TV airs the episodes first. So unless you’ve got Direct TV, don’t expect to see Riggins smooth-talking Lyla until next winter (like, after-the-Super-Bowl-dead-of-winter).
But hey, beggars can’t be choosers. We get a third season of Friday Night Lights! And you can guarantee if people don’t watch this time, it’ll be the last.
Welcome back to what has become a weekly occurrence here at Nerd With Words: The South Park Review. This week’s episode played out like a classic from Season 3, or maybe the cat plot just reminded me of Cat Orgy. Either way, this was the best episode of the season, avoiding the shaky “messages” from the previous two weeks. Plus, Matt and Trey once again prove you can never go wrong with a bunch of boobs.
Now that we’re in season 12, the show sometimes strays too far from its stable of supporting characters and settings, but this episode gets back to basics and it feel surprisingly fresh. It opens in the classroom with the kids getting a lecture from Mr. Mackey. Mackey runs down a list of all the things kids can do to get high, such as choking each other out, and getting sprayed in the face with cat urine. He gives a little too much detail on the cat urine high, so naturally the kids want to try it. They go back to Cartman’s house and use Mr. Kitty and Kenny as guinea pigs to see if it works. The cat marks its territory right in Kenny’s face and he’s sent off, cheesing balls. By the way, that cat spray was hilarious. Got a huge pop from my side of the couch. And now the episode is off and running, because Kenny’s just been hurled into the movie “Heavy Metal.”
Now, I may be a Nerd, but I freely admit I’ve never seen “Heavy Metal.” Everything I know from Heavy Metal, I gleaned from the poster and the trailer above. There are lots of animated boobs. And that’s pretty much all you need to appreciate their spoof of it. I love that cartoon characters who get high on South Park are sent to another cartoon style. It’s a great touch that someone on drugs might point out while watching the show. I’m totally sober. I swear. Anyway, during his trip, Kenny’s in his personal heaven: surrounded by giant, bouncing boobs (much like when he got into heaven at the end of the South Park movie). When he comes to, Kenny is trying to take his clothes off in the middle of town, and the boys are obviously concerned.
Next, we get a news package reporting kids getting high from concentrated cat urine. They dub it “cheesing” and I can guarantee I’m not the only one who Googled it after this episode. Gerald, Kyle’s dad, plans to outlaw all cats in town in an attempt to cut the problem off at its source. But since Cartman loves Mr. Kitty so much, he hides him in the attic, Anne Frank-style. This subplot carries through the episode, with Cartman harboring more and more kitties. The only problem I have with it is that it’s a little out of character for Cartman to care about anything, let alone stray cats. His love of Hitler is well documented, which means his love of Mr. Kitty is bigger than his hatred of Jews.
The last half of the episode deals with Kyle’s parents finding a cat he took from Kenny. There’s a great sight gag of the cat in a ziploc bag, as if it were any other drug. Kyle’s dad ends up taking it in the basement and getting cheesed himself. At the same time, Cartman goes up to the attic to drop off another kitty, only to find Kenny cheesing on all the hidden cats. The climax comes when Gerald and Kenny enter “Heavy Metal” combat to see who caresses some “awesome bewbage.” At this point, the amount of animated breasts is so over the top, even the men, buildings, and weaponry are covered in boobs. In reality, they’re fighting half-naked in a sandbox with the whole town watching. As Gerald apologizes, we get a nice Eliot Spitzer press conference reference and find out that Kenny has moved on to another drug. Remember kids, addicts will always find a way to get high!
By sticking with a simple storyline, “Major Boobage” was easily the strongest episode of South Park this season, and reminded me that they don’t have to stray too far from town to have an interesting story. You know, only to a cartoon from 1981. Seriously though, you really can’t argue against an episode overrun with rockin’ tits and cat piss.
South Park Major Boobage Review: 6 Arbitrary Bouncing Boobs Out Of 6
So I guess the Star Wars Saga is coming to Spike TV. In celebration, they’ve created some semi-amusing posters with those kinda lame “jokes for guys” that one would expect from Spike TV. Chewie? The original wingman? Just seems like a T-shirt you would find at Hot Topic. My personal favorite is the Vader poster, but I also like the unique approach to the bus stop poster.
Holy. Shit. Okay. I know last week I said it’s difficult as a South Park fan to be shocked anymore, but five minutes into Wednesday’s episode I was proven horrifically wrong. Didn’t see that coming.
This week’s episode, titled “Britney’s New Look” delves into our culture’s endless obsession with celebrities. In the sickening new age of TMZ, Perez Hilton, and any other blogger smart enough to open Microsoft Paint and draw cum shots on people’s faces, our thirst for celebrity blood is reaching critical mass. “Britney’s New Look” simply takes its rightful end..You know, with a little corn harvest and camel toe thrown in for good measure.
It open with the boys being forced by Randy Marsh, Stan’s dad, to watch a presidential debate. The debate is interrupted by the local news to cover BRITNEY WATCH! It turns out Britney was trying to get away from the pressures of Hollywood by going camping in Colorado. Instead of getting away, Britney is photographed pissing on a ladybug. There’s an awesome, recurring gag about people’s reactions to the photos. The newscaster mentions that the offensive bits have been blurred in the photo, and when they cut to the pic, Britney’s face is blurred instead of the ridiculous stream of piss shooting out of her. The boys learn that the guy who took the photo sold it for $100,000, so they want their share and decide to get a picture themselves.
At the beginning of the episode, I started thinking back to the Paris Hilton episode, where Butters was forced to dressed up as Mr. Biggles the bear. Just as that thought pops in my head, here comes Butters dressed like a squirrel. Their plan is to get a picture of Britney taking a dump on a squirrel. God, I love Butters. The boys sneak in the room pretending to be her kids, and when Britney finds out she’s been duped again, South Park takes a step beyond Cartman giving Kyle AIDS. Britney pulls out a shotgun from behind her back and puts it to her head. For sure I thought the kids would stop her. But oh no. Britney blasts her head clean off (Well, sort of). What follows is the greatest 30 seconds of silence ever. The four kids stand, wide-eyed, mouths agape, in pure shock. And that, dear nerds, is how you shock.
But wait, there’s more! Because Britney’s not dead! The rest of the episode, Britney only has half a head, much like a zombie from the Dawn of the Dead remake. Instead of talking, she just gurgles, sounding a lot like Scuzzlebutt. So, for literally 20 minutes, Britney Spears is running around with only a lower jaw. The paparazzi and media seem to ignore this malady, but continue to point out her camel toe and scars.
At this point, the kids just want to get Britney to safety. Their plan is to take her to the North Pole, but the episode takes another twist to hammer its point home. It can never just be a straight story about a pop star with half a head on South Park, can it? It’s revealed there’s a giant conspiracy to kill Britney, or at least, a need for her to die. The hordes of people chasing her relate her imminent death to human sacrifice, and point out that she needs to die for the corn harvest to be good this year. I guess Trey Parker figured, ‘Well, this episode is batshit crazy as it is, why not throw a corn harvest in there?’ It all ends with a frightening scene of the mob surrounding Britney, closing in on her and taking pictures of her until she curls up and dies. It’s spot-on satire, even if I don’t completely agree with the sentiment.
This was a quintessential South Park episode; shocking, twisted, sharp, and hilarious. It makes some great observations about our celeb-obsessions and the media’s contribution to it, and nobody can say Britney Watch! like Trey Parker. I only have one complaint. Referring back to the Paris Hilton episode, Matt and Trey railed against her as a talentless whore who was teaching children how to act like spoiled sluts. But this episode, they take the side of celebrities who are unable to escape the spotlight. It’s hard to distinguish some of Britney’s behavior with what Paris has done in public, so their stance loses some of its impact. You’re sending a mixed message if you humiliate Britney Spears by having her stumble around headless for 20 minutes, and then tell people to lay off in the same episode. But that’s what’s great about South Park. They’re equal opportunity offenders whose sole task is to point out how ridiculous both sides are, and let Nerds like me try and sort it out.
Britney’s New Look Rating: 35 Arbitrary Stars out of 40.
Okay, I just read this Hollywood Reporter article and I’m frightened of the possibilities. At this very moment, the CW is talking with “Veronica Mars” creator Rob Thomas (not the Matchbox 20 guy) about bringing 90210 back to television. Now, before I go any further, I must say that I do not disguise my love for 90210. I literally grew up watching that show, from middle school all the way to college. The odd thing is that even when the show ended in 2000, I still didn’t look as old as they did in the first season. I honestly love 90210. My favorite episode is the one where Dylan’s dad dies in a car explosion. I taped it and wrote on the VHS label, “90210: Dylan’s Dad Has A Blast.”
So why am I worried about the show returning? Well, there aren’t any real details at this point, but since it’s on CW, I can guarantee it’s going to be about a new batch of hot, young, privileged kids. And if you think it’s easy to replace David Silver, think again! Anyone remember Saved By The Bell: The New Class? The only way I could get excited is if this new version features heavy doses of Dylan and Valerie Malone (aka Kelly Kapowski, aka Tiffani Thiessen). Now you see why I’m called a Nerd.
The thing that made 90210 special was that it happened in the 90’s, when television wasn’t as self-conscious as it is now. It was normal for Brenda to take a call at a teen hotline from a girl who was being abused by her boyfriend, or for Brandon to be dating a teenage mom, or for every character to develop a drug problem at some point during the series, and no one was yelling, “This is ridiculous!”
Since there aren’t any details, I’ll reserve judgment for now. But, I swear, if this show ends up being about Andrea Zuckerman and Jessie Vasquez’s love child, I’m gonna develop my own drug problem.
This video is basically a greatest hits of all the shit the characters have been through. How can you possibly improve on this??
Well, one thing’s for sure about the newest episode of South Park: no one can claim “The Simpsons already did it!” In the episode, Cartman undergoes a routine tonsillectomy, but a fateful mistake ends up infecting him with the HIV. He soon finds out AIDS was more of an “80’s and 90’s” disease and most people think of it as pretty retro now. He couldn’t even get Elton John to perform at his benefit. Jimmy Buffet shows up in his place to sing a touching version of “AIDS Burger in Paradise.” When Kyle can’t contain his joy at the irony of the situation, Cartman drops some HIV blood in his mouth while he’s sleeping. I wish I were shocked to have just typed that sentence. After Kyle and Cartman fight, the two of them travel to see Magic Johnson about a cure, which, of course, is money.
This was one of those episodes of South Park that’s funny in its audacity, but not as laugh out loud (The kids call it LOL because they have no respect for words) as episodes with lighter themes. I loved the little touch of Cartman changing his outfit to HIV appropriate duds after being diagnosed, and the “I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive” joke that ran throughout. Also, the ongoing feud of Kyle and Cartman was taken to a completely new level, and it’s hard to think what Cartman could possibly do to top this. Although he did feed Scott Tenorman his own parents in a bowl of chili one time.
South Park always has a message embedded in it, and this time it was about cancer. Okay, not directly, but the point of the episode was to say AIDS has fallen out of public interest in favor of cancer. I thought it was a good storyline until the end. It was clever, but there’s only one logical conclusion to a South Park AIDS story: Visit Magic Johnson. Magic isn’t played for laughs, but his money is. The cap of the episode is that money is the cure for AIDS. The problem with this is that everyone makes that assumption. Magic Johnson has money and can afford the best treatment, so money must be the cure. Unfortunately, it’s not a revelation because it was such an obvious, direct comparison.
A lot of times, Trey Parker will take winding paths to get to his point, making it a surprise when it’s revealed. As Kyle and Cartman were looking for something special that protects Magic from AIDS, I was fully expecting something alien or completely off the wall, which I guess is what happens after watching South Park for 10 years. Instead, it was money. They did take it as far as they could, melting down cash and injecting it right into Kyle, then showing a man proclaiming the end of AIDS to a poor African village. But something about the ending didn’t pop with me.
Oh well, at least it gave Jimmy Buffet an excuse to sing “Cure Burger in Paradise.”
Tonsil Trouble Rating: 7,006 arbitrary stars out of 10,000
God Bless YouTube. Just yesterday I was talking about Gary Busey bringing insanity along as his Oscar date, and now I can actually show it to you. Look at Jennifer Garner’s face at 1:17, right after he kisses her. That’s the exact amount of shock and disgust you would expect after being accosted by a drunk uncle. And, apparently, Gary Busey.
Clearly, the Writer’s Strike had an effect on this year’s Oscars. Even though Jon Stewart jokingly threatened the audience with endless montages the likes of “Binoculars and Periscopes” and “Waking Up From A Bad Dream”, there were no less than 42 montages over the 3+ hours. It’s obvious they were prepared for an unscripted show and said to themselves, ‘We did not sift through 80 years of Oscar footage to let these things sit on the shelf just because the writers are back!’ It blew Rocky IV out of the water as the reigning champ of time killing (although Rocky IV still has the edge in Apollo killing).
Not to say the Oscars were horrible. I loved Jon Stewart’s opening monologue. He delivered the best line of the night when he said, “Even ‘Norbit’ got a nomination, which I think is great. Too often, the academy ignores movies that aren’t good.”
And it was truly classy to bring back Marketa Irglova back on stage after she and Glen Hansard won for Best Song and Bill Conti played her off stage before she could say one word. You would think a fellow musician would have given her a bigger window than 2 seconds to step up to the mic. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a winner brought back to finish their speech, and she made the most of her time.
Other than that, there weren’t a lot of surprises. I feel like the right people won. “No Country” certainly dominated, snagging all the big prizes (Adapted Screenplay, Best Director, Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor), and Daniel Day-Lewis won Best Actor for “There Will Be Blood.”
Honestly, the best part of the night happened before the show on another network. E! was doing the red carpet, and Ryan Seacrest brought Jennifer Garner over for an interview. Fortunately for anyone watching, he was accosted by Gary Busey before that happened. Busey spouted off something nonsensical before giving Jennifer Garner a creepy, boundary-crossing hug and kiss. I’ve never seen someone more frightened in their life than Jennifer Garner. And she’s seen “Elektra.”
You may remember Steve Guttenberg from your fondest memories of the 80’s. You know him as the smart-ass cop Mahoney in the Police Academy movies. Or maybe as the smart-ass/youngest person in Cocoon, or as the smart-ass-with-a-robot in Short Circuit, or the smart-ass dad in Three Men And a Baby. The guy was everywhere in the 80’s, starring in 6 movies that grossed over $100 million bucks. Sadly, for lovers of charming smart-asses, Guttenberg’s deal with the devil only ran to 1990, possibly after Beelzebub saw Three Men And a Little Lady. But those of you starving for your GuttenFix are about to be fed a spoonful of Steve every week! Why?? Because Steve Guttenberg will be on the newest season of “Dancing With The Stars.” And you can bet this will do for him what it did to the careers of Mario Lopez, Ian Ziering, and Drew Lachey. Er, let’s hope it at least leads to more commercials like this one:
Guttenberg can even charm the pants off imposing military lesbians!
