Scott McIntyre – The Blind Guy from American Idol or Greatest American Hero? Anyone?

The Steelers winning the game in dramatic fashion was obviously the greatest part of last night’s Super Bowl, but I think we all know what the runner up was…

While listening to Chinese Democracy, I realized I may have found Axl Rose’s inspiration for the title track – the theme song to 90210! So I put it to the test. You be the judge!

I am notorious in my hatred for Fox’s Mad TV, the sketch show without an ounce of subtlety in its unfunny bones (doesn’t have a funny bone either). I have never, once, ever laughed at the show during the times I’ve had the misfortune of leaving Comedy Central on for too long. But now, just as we’re given word that Ridley Scott is planning on sullying his career forever, the pop culture gods have brought a little balance to the Force by canceling Mad TV and its loud, broad, cartoony brand of sketch. That doesn’t erase the fact that the show has inexplicably been on the air for 14 seasons or that re-runs will still air on Comedy Central through the end of this year, but soon, my friends, we will be Mad TV free.

Who knew Samberg did such a good impression?

The Clone Wars cartoon starts this Friday at 9 pm on Cartoon Network. Watch it! If you love Star Wars, you’ll be home on a Friday night anyway. They had a preview on Cartoon Network this weekend, and the series looks phenomenal. Yes, this comes from an unapologetic Star Wars fanboy. But watching this preview, it’s hard to believe this will be on television every week. We have new Star Wars adventures every week on television! And it comes equipped with an Ackbar-style (Mon Calamari) Jedi!

Lucasfilm is the master of trailer-making, getting people’s hopes up beyond believable expectations, and then delivering an impressive product that people are nevertheless disappointed with, but look at that trailer! How can you’re a Star Wars fan?? — Whoops, deleted a few words there, or perhaps some Yoda-speak slipped in. How can you not be excited if you’re a Star Wars fan?? Thanks for pointing that out, Bloomfielb.

Remember that reference I made about Gervais starring in THE Office and Steve Carrell starring in The Office on Sticky Floor Friday? Seems they decided to battle it out at the Emmy’s last night….in a tickle fight.

Boom. Here it is! I’ve watched this several times and the one thing that stands out to me is that it’s going to look beautiful on the big screen. Earlier footage looked a little stiff, but this trailer has made me a believer. I’m still holding out to see how this whole, “rescue Jabba’s kid” storyline pans out. I have no idea why Jedi would be involved with kidnapping negotiations between a gangster and some renegades, except that it’s probably part of a bigger conspiracy. Also, if you’re wondering why Mace Windu sounds exactly like Samuel L. Jackson, it’s because it IS him. Kick ass!

Wow, we’re here already. The halfway point of Season 12. You know what means — Last South Park until October. Good God! Think of all the things that will happen between now and then (Indy, Iron Man, ALL of summer, the start of football, my untimely demise at the hands of an obsessed fan, the creation of an obsessed fan in my own mind, who I try to drive from my brain with self-performed brain surgery)! Wow, that’s a lot. Anyway, let’s get to it.

This week’s South Park doesn’t really have any dangerous keywords to bring weirdos to the site. In fact, there wasn’t too much edge to this episode at all. Sure, many people get brutally murdered, but really, the main point we’re supposed to take away is that historical re-enactment employees suck, and the pioneer times were tough.

The episode begins at the Pioneer Village, where the kids are taking a field trip. The employees all speak in an old timey accent and don’t break character. FOR ANYTHING. The goal of the Pioneer Village is to give the kids a living history of Colorado. But if anyone has actually been to these types of things, you know how awkward and embarrassing they can be. Mr. Garrison forces the kids to choose partners and hold hands until they get back on the bus. Not surprisingly, Cartman has trouble finding a partner. He even resorts to asking Kyle, who states, “I hate you, remember?” I got a laugh out of Cartman’s response — “Jesus, what have I ever done to you?” How quickly one forgets about purposefully transmitting AIDS when they need to find a partner. Luckily for me (though not for Cartman), the only other person without a partner is Butters. Butters is determined to hold Cartman’s hand until they are back on that bus. Pairing these two together provides the biggest laughs of this episode.

The kids tour the town, meeting the blacksmith and the gunsmith and so on. Cartman notices a “Super Phun Thyme” amusement center across the street and literally drags Butters along. While Stan is questioning the townsfolk’s devotion to their craft, police sirens are heard in the background. All of a sudden, a car busts through the gates and several men with guns get out. Stan and Kyle start looking for a phone, but the townsfolk are not being very cooperative. They won’t break character, even after one of their own is shot in the head. Did Trey Parker have a bad re-enactment experience as a child?

Meanwhile, over at Super Phun Thyme, we’re treated to an amusing montage of Cartman having an awesome time while Butters holds his hand. Cartman is singing the song playing under the montage, and it’s funny to see Butters get hit by bumper cars as he runs alongside Cartman’s car. I wanted to enjoy this more, but it felt like familiar territory. Like when Cartman had control of his own amusement park. After Butters pleads for Cartman to go back to the village, he reluctantly leaves Super Phun Thyme only to run into the cops. They think they’ve been busted for ditching. Butters has a breakdown, starts crying, and gives Cartman the weakest punch in the history of the universe. This is the beginning of several kick-ass moments between these two.

In Pioneer Village, we learn that the men with guns are actually robbers who just got away from a big heist at…Burger King. They made out with like, a handful of cash and 4 sacks of burgers. This leads to a great moment when the tech guy asks for his cut, and Franz, the leader (who looks suspiciously like Hans Gruber for no reason other than to remind us Hand Gruber is awesome) hands over some money and a hamburger. The tech guy riffles through the burger like it was cash. Great visual gag.

When Cartman and Butters see an opening to sneak inside, they climb up a traffic light but slip and fall. They’re saved only by their interlocked hands, and when they cut to the wide shot, we’re treated to yet another great visual gag of them hanging above the street. Now that I think of it, there were a lot of great visual gags in this episode.

The rest of the episode deals with the terrorists trying to get the code to some secret escape route, but the townsfolk refuse to break character. There’s not much to note here. The best part is when the work day ends and all the townsfolk break character, answering all the real-life questions the kids had during the crisis. Also, Franz gets the wrap-up speech about how Pioneer Village has a lot to teach us. It’s all very absurd, and kind of funny because it’s so pointless. But I felt that way about this whole episode. It was kinda funny. God bless Butters.

And that’s it for several long months. I was kinda harsh on a few episodes this season, but don’t mistake that for random internet hate crimes. I love South Park and would take their worst episode any day over pretty much any other show on television today.

South Park: Super Fun Time Review: 2 Whoppers out of 5

South Park Season 12 Mid-Point Review: 3 Arbitrary Stars Out of 5

My “South Park” reviews usually generate a ton of hits from web site searches, but sometimes the traffic coming in isn’t quite my target audience. Take, for instance, last night’s recap of SP. I made the mistake of mentioning the minor detail of Randy’s ‘Japanese girls puking on each other’ fetish. As of noon today, I’ve had 70 visitors pop by looking for different variations of “Japanese puke porn.” So, for anyone looking for Japanese Puke porn, you won’t find it here. Sorry! I’m no stranger to luring weirdos to my sites for my own amusement, but I also know people looking for fucked up shit aren’t going to stop and read a South Park review when they need to get their rocks off to a couple of hermaphrodites having sex with lawn furniture.

And yes, I realize that by further mentioning Japanese girls puking, it will only bring more oddball traffic to the site. What can I say? I have a stat fetish.