Was based off the Brad Pitt fight in Snatch, followed immediately by a quote from There Will be Blood, in case anyone was wondering.
Was based off the Brad Pitt fight in Snatch, followed immediately by a quote from There Will be Blood, in case anyone was wondering.
Wow, we’re here already. The halfway point of Season 12. You know what means — Last South Park until October. Good God! Think of all the things that will happen between now and then (Indy, Iron Man, ALL of summer, the start of football, my untimely demise at the hands of an obsessed fan, the creation of an obsessed fan in my own mind, who I try to drive from my brain with self-performed brain surgery)! Wow, that’s a lot. Anyway, let’s get to it.
This week’s South Park doesn’t really have any dangerous keywords to bring weirdos to the site. In fact, there wasn’t too much edge to this episode at all. Sure, many people get brutally murdered, but really, the main point we’re supposed to take away is that historical re-enactment employees suck, and the pioneer times were tough.
The episode begins at the Pioneer Village, where the kids are taking a field trip. The employees all speak in an old timey accent and don’t break character. FOR ANYTHING. The goal of the Pioneer Village is to give the kids a living history of Colorado. But if anyone has actually been to these types of things, you know how awkward and embarrassing they can be. Mr. Garrison forces the kids to choose partners and hold hands until they get back on the bus. Not surprisingly, Cartman has trouble finding a partner. He even resorts to asking Kyle, who states, “I hate you, remember?” I got a laugh out of Cartman’s response — “Jesus, what have I ever done to you?” How quickly one forgets about purposefully transmitting AIDS when they need to find a partner. Luckily for me (though not for Cartman), the only other person without a partner is Butters. Butters is determined to hold Cartman’s hand until they are back on that bus. Pairing these two together provides the biggest laughs of this episode.
The kids tour the town, meeting the blacksmith and the gunsmith and so on. Cartman notices a “Super Phun Thyme” amusement center across the street and literally drags Butters along. While Stan is questioning the townsfolk’s devotion to their craft, police sirens are heard in the background. All of a sudden, a car busts through the gates and several men with guns get out. Stan and Kyle start looking for a phone, but the townsfolk are not being very cooperative. They won’t break character, even after one of their own is shot in the head. Did Trey Parker have a bad re-enactment experience as a child?
Meanwhile, over at Super Phun Thyme, we’re treated to an amusing montage of Cartman having an awesome time while Butters holds his hand. Cartman is singing the song playing under the montage, and it’s funny to see Butters get hit by bumper cars as he runs alongside Cartman’s car. I wanted to enjoy this more, but it felt like familiar territory. Like when Cartman had control of his own amusement park. After Butters pleads for Cartman to go back to the village, he reluctantly leaves Super Phun Thyme only to run into the cops. They think they’ve been busted for ditching. Butters has a breakdown, starts crying, and gives Cartman the weakest punch in the history of the universe. This is the beginning of several kick-ass moments between these two.
In Pioneer Village, we learn that the men with guns are actually robbers who just got away from a big heist at…Burger King. They made out with like, a handful of cash and 4 sacks of burgers. This leads to a great moment when the tech guy asks for his cut, and Franz, the leader (who looks suspiciously like Hans Gruber for no reason other than to remind us Hand Gruber is awesome) hands over some money and a hamburger. The tech guy riffles through the burger like it was cash. Great visual gag.
When Cartman and Butters see an opening to sneak inside, they climb up a traffic light but slip and fall. They’re saved only by their interlocked hands, and when they cut to the wide shot, we’re treated to yet another great visual gag of them hanging above the street. Now that I think of it, there were a lot of great visual gags in this episode.
The rest of the episode deals with the terrorists trying to get the code to some secret escape route, but the townsfolk refuse to break character. There’s not much to note here. The best part is when the work day ends and all the townsfolk break character, answering all the real-life questions the kids had during the crisis. Also, Franz gets the wrap-up speech about how Pioneer Village has a lot to teach us. It’s all very absurd, and kind of funny because it’s so pointless. But I felt that way about this whole episode. It was kinda funny. God bless Butters.
And that’s it for several long months. I was kinda harsh on a few episodes this season, but don’t mistake that for random internet hate crimes. I love South Park and would take their worst episode any day over pretty much any other show on television today.
South Park: Super Fun Time Review: 2 Whoppers out of 5
South Park Season 12 Mid-Point Review: 3 Arbitrary Stars Out of 5
My “South Park” reviews usually generate a ton of hits from web site searches, but sometimes the traffic coming in isn’t quite my target audience. Take, for instance, last night’s recap of SP. I made the mistake of mentioning the minor detail of Randy’s ‘Japanese girls puking on each other’ fetish. As of noon today, I’ve had 70 visitors pop by looking for different variations of “Japanese puke porn.” So, for anyone looking for Japanese Puke porn, you won’t find it here. Sorry! I’m no stranger to luring weirdos to my sites for my own amusement, but I also know people looking for fucked up shit aren’t going to stop and read a South Park review when they need to get their rocks off to a couple of hermaphrodites having sex with lawn furniture.
And yes, I realize that by further mentioning Japanese girls puking, it will only bring more oddball traffic to the site. What can I say? I have a stat fetish.
By the way, the title of this post is a reference to the episode, not an admission of any problems this author may have. I swear! This week’s South Park was a perfect example of a great idea being funnier than the overall execution. The episode, titled “Over Logging”, brought to light South Park’s obsession with the internet, Mr. Garrison’s subtle assertion of masculinity, and Randy’s love of Brazilian fart porn. It centers on the idea that we are now completely dependent on the internet for all information, and would be lost without it.
At the Marsh household, Stan, Randy, and Shelly are all wasting time on the net, while Sharon tells them all it’s time for bed. It was nice to see Shelly return. I can’t remember if she’s been featured in an episode since she dated Skylar back in Season 3. Before anyone can finish what they’re doing (especially Randy, who’s intent on watching some porn before bed) the internet goes down, leaving the family confused. They go to Kyle’s house to use their internet, but they’re having the same problem. Turns out all of South Park’s internet is down, and they’ve gathered in the street to talk about it. Mr. Garrison’s in the crowd, and this elicits a laugh from me because he’s dressed in a robe and holding a pipe — just what a man who used to be a woman who is now a man again would wear to feel more masculine.
8 days later, the family is still without internet access. Randy is sick, but can’t figure out what’s wrong because he can’t go on Web MD. When they finally can’t take it anymore, the Marsh family packs up and heads out West, the “Californee Way.” I laughed at “Californee” the first few times, but it wore itself out after a little while. At this point, the episode switches to black and white. There’s a whole section where they stop and sing a song with other folks looking for the internet, and say Californee a bunch of times. I think it’s a reference to “Grapes of Wrath” but I really just found myself hoping for a big payoff. And it did come. Literally.
When Randy and the family make it to Silicon Valley, the internet is being rationed out at a campsite in 40 second increments. Randy pulls aside a Red Cross worker and tells him he hasn’t jacked off in two weeks and really needs to, but can’t do it out in the open. When he’s pushed aside, Randy clenches his balls in agony. Some sketchy guys notice and lure him into the internet porn simulator, which is a brilliant idea. Basically, it’s a cardboard box that looks like a computer. You sit down and tell it what you want, then someone draws a picture and holds it up. There’s just something funny about Randy driving all the way to California to look at a fake internet when he could have easily just picked up a Playboy at home. Regardless, he just can’t get aroused by the poorly drawn versions of Japanese girls puking on each other, and the struggle continues.
At the same time, the government is trying to communicate with the internet, which is just a router located in a bunker somewhere. There’s a funny Close Encounters of the Third Kind reference, but other than that, this part of the episode lacks punch. The climax (yep) comes (uh huh) when Randy breaks into the room they store the internet at night and downloads all the sick porn he can possibly think of. Japanese girls puking on each other, elephant bestiality, but surprisingly, no 2 girls, 1 cup. Randy starts making ridiculously loud noises that wake up the entire camp. They think he’s being attacked by an animal, so they bust in and find him completely covered in his own spunk. (When was the last time you heard spunk, by the way?) I mean, it’s ridiculous. All over the walls, the computer, Randy’s entire body. He starts making up excuses about ghosts coming in and sliming him, and it’s easily the best moment of the episode.
Somehow Kyle figures out how to fix the internet, so he goes down to the bunker, unplugs the router, then plugs it back in. Problem solved. It’s funny because it’s true! Well, it’s true anyway. Like I said, this storyline was kind of bland. The episode ends with Randy dressed in a weird Indian outfit giving a speech about responsible internet use. It took some research to find out what they were referencing (On Deadly Ground?) and I’m not sure how it was relevant to this episode. Overall, taking a shot at our internet dependency is funny, and seeing Randy Marsh covered in ejaculate is damn funny, but it took a while to get to the big joke at the end, and funny in concept doesn’t always translate to funny in execution. Now get off the internet and live your lives!
South Park “Over Logging” Review: 2 Japanese Puking Girls Out of 5
There’s been a lot of talk this past week about the “pregnant man.” It reached its peak with his/her time/soul-sucking hour on Oprah, in which Oprah squirmed through awkward questions like, “Let’s talk about what’s going on with the genitalia.” Of course, “pregnant man” quickly loses its luster once you find out the “man” is actually a woman who had her breasts removed and was pumped with hormones. Alas, we will not be getting a sequel to Junior.
Leave it to “South Park” to jump all over the story. This week’s episode, titled “Eek! A Penis” employs a formula that Trey Parker is not a big fan of: Multiple, separate storylines. Lucky for us, they’re both strong, absurd, and hilarious.
Using the “pregnant man” as its jumping point, the episode begins with Mrs. Garrison freaking out in class, realizing his sex change was a mistake. Unfortunately, Garrison went all the way with his sex change, as graphically detailed in “Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina.” He’s removed from class and replaced with a student for the day. Naturally, power-hungry Cartman does his best to get Principal Victoria’s attention and wins the job.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrison finds out the local laboratory is doing genetic testing on mice. They’ve already grown an ear on a mouse, so Garrison sees a window of opportunity. He heads to the lab and offers all the money he has for them to grow him a penis. Hm. Seems logical enough. At school, Cartman has turned the class around, helping them score the highest grades ever. The Denver County School Board enlists him to teach inner city kids, and you just know there’s a movie parody coming. Personally, I was hoping for Lean On Me but instead we got Stand and Deliver.
Cartman transforms himself into the Edward James Olmos character, shaving his head, creating a comb over, and insisting they call him Mr. Cartmenez. All the cliches of inner city school movies are held to the fire, from the pregnant, hopeless teen to the reluctant, defiant student. But with Cartmenez as the teacher, the roles are reversed. Cartmenez teaches the students all about the value of cheating, citing Bill Belicheck, a man who cheated in front of the world and wasn’t punished for it. He prove his point by cracking a student with a baton during a basketball game and convincing the pregnant teen to get an abortion because it’s the “ultimate form of cheating,” repeatedly pondering out loud, “How can I reeeeach theeese keeeeds?”
Five paragraphs in and I haven’t even mentioned the Penis Mouse. Forgive me! While Cartmenez is doing his thing, Garrison is busy checking up on his penis, which is growing on a mouse. Everything’s going well until when he opens the box to test out the little critter and it escapes from the lab. This sets off a wild penis chase with the mouse running all over town scaring all the women. Not only is the image of a tiny mouse with a floppy penis on its back a ridiculously great “What the f*ck!” moment, it gives Garrison a chance to toss out classic lines like, “Boys, have you seen my penis? If you see it, just try to catch it with some cheese.” I promise you’ll never see or hear those things anywhere other than “South Park.”
And just when you think you’ve seen it all, in the middle of the chase, the mouse and the penis have a Fievel-esque ballad under the moon. Why? Why not! The episode wraps up with the return of MR. Garrison, and Cartmenez receiving a plaque for teaching the inner city kids “The White People Method.” There’s some message about women being defined by whether they can have kids, but it’s not really important. And for this episode, that’s a good thing. It didn’t get bogged down in messages and didn’t force the issue like “Canada on Strike.” They just told two really funny stories, one of which had to do with a running joke about a running penis.
South Park Eek A Penis Review: 10 arbitrary penis-phobic women out of 12
Well, you knew someone had to do it. Ever since the writer’s strike ended, I’ve been waiting for shows to return so we could get the requisite strike jokes out of the way. Naturally, “South Park,” a show that wasn’t even on strike, got to it first (“South Park” doesn’t fall under WGA regulations). After last week’s return to form, I feel like “South Park” stumbled a bit with this episode. While there were some really funny moments and it was nice to see someone show a different perspective of the strike, it was ultimately unfocused.
The episode, titled “Canada On Strike,” thinly veils Canadians as the Writers Guild, going on strike because the world neglects Canada Appreciation Day. I say thinly veiled because they refer to themselves as “The WGA — The World Canadian Bureau.” They want recognition for their hard work, and some of that internet money everyone talks about. So they stage a big musical number, as Canadians on South Park are prone to do, and strike against the world.
When the kids realize they won’t get new Terrance and Phillip episodes (and Cartman realizes they may have to watch “Family Guy”) Kyle gets on the phone with the head of the WGA (That’s the World Canadian Bureau) and tells him they’ll make money for Canada on the internet. The boys make a viral video of Butters singing “What? What? In Da Butt” and it becomes an internet sensation. The episode picked up for me here, because I can’t resist Butters in costume.
Once it’s a hit, the boys go to collect their theoretical money and find themselves in a waiting room with all the other internet sensations looking to claim cash for their videos. Everyone’s there, including the Numa Numa Guy, The Tron Guy, the Laughing Baby, the Star Wars Kid, the Leave Britney Alone Guy (or is it Girl?), The Chocolate Rain Guy, Afro Ninja, Sneezing Panda, and, my nephew’s favorite, the Dramatic Prairie Dog. At first it looked like a Meet The Spartans type spoof, where they just referenced each internet sensation. Then the agenda became clear: Trey Parker hates internet sensations. They start fighting over who has more YouTube hits and end up violently murdering each other. I was laughing my ass off when the Numa Numa guy was fighting Tron, but I could have done without Chris Crocker.
The kids get their check for 10 million “theoretical” dollars, and bring it to the head of the WGA. After realizing it will do nothing to help them, the WGA leader breaks down, and it’s up to the kids to negotiate with world leaders to end the strike. They end up giving out coupons to Bennigans and a bag of bubble gum, equating the (real) WGA’s new deal to an insignificant gesture. The episode ends by repeating an earlier bit between Terrance, Phillip, and the WGA leader that was very similar to Adam Sandler’s old sketch Buddy.
Unfortunately, whenever “South Park” centers an episode on Canada, it fails to deliver the goods. There were a few good spots, like the musical sequence and the news broadcast of the Danish coming to America to take Canadian jobs, proclaiming Denmark as the “Canada of Europe.” But that’s where it ended. Canadian jokes were already mined in the South Park movie. Here, they’re used as a front for the Writers Guild and it was a stretch to have Canada asking for internet revenue. Trey gets his shots in at the WGA, pointing out that the strike cost them more than their new deal compensates, and that it’s nearly impossible to quantify internet earnings and share in theoretical profits. I just wish there was a funnier way to do it.
South Park Canada On Strike Review: 20 Arbitrary Stars Out of 60
Welcome back to what has become a weekly occurrence here at Nerd With Words: The South Park Review. This week’s episode played out like a classic from Season 3, or maybe the cat plot just reminded me of Cat Orgy. Either way, this was the best episode of the season, avoiding the shaky “messages” from the previous two weeks. Plus, Matt and Trey once again prove you can never go wrong with a bunch of boobs.
Now that we’re in season 12, the show sometimes strays too far from its stable of supporting characters and settings, but this episode gets back to basics and it feel surprisingly fresh. It opens in the classroom with the kids getting a lecture from Mr. Mackey. Mackey runs down a list of all the things kids can do to get high, such as choking each other out, and getting sprayed in the face with cat urine. He gives a little too much detail on the cat urine high, so naturally the kids want to try it. They go back to Cartman’s house and use Mr. Kitty and Kenny as guinea pigs to see if it works. The cat marks its territory right in Kenny’s face and he’s sent off, cheesing balls. By the way, that cat spray was hilarious. Got a huge pop from my side of the couch. And now the episode is off and running, because Kenny’s just been hurled into the movie “Heavy Metal.”
Now, I may be a Nerd, but I freely admit I’ve never seen “Heavy Metal.” Everything I know from Heavy Metal, I gleaned from the poster and the trailer above. There are lots of animated boobs. And that’s pretty much all you need to appreciate their spoof of it. I love that cartoon characters who get high on South Park are sent to another cartoon style. It’s a great touch that someone on drugs might point out while watching the show. I’m totally sober. I swear. Anyway, during his trip, Kenny’s in his personal heaven: surrounded by giant, bouncing boobs (much like when he got into heaven at the end of the South Park movie). When he comes to, Kenny is trying to take his clothes off in the middle of town, and the boys are obviously concerned.
Next, we get a news package reporting kids getting high from concentrated cat urine. They dub it “cheesing” and I can guarantee I’m not the only one who Googled it after this episode. Gerald, Kyle’s dad, plans to outlaw all cats in town in an attempt to cut the problem off at its source. But since Cartman loves Mr. Kitty so much, he hides him in the attic, Anne Frank-style. This subplot carries through the episode, with Cartman harboring more and more kitties. The only problem I have with it is that it’s a little out of character for Cartman to care about anything, let alone stray cats. His love of Hitler is well documented, which means his love of Mr. Kitty is bigger than his hatred of Jews.
The last half of the episode deals with Kyle’s parents finding a cat he took from Kenny. There’s a great sight gag of the cat in a ziploc bag, as if it were any other drug. Kyle’s dad ends up taking it in the basement and getting cheesed himself. At the same time, Cartman goes up to the attic to drop off another kitty, only to find Kenny cheesing on all the hidden cats. The climax comes when Gerald and Kenny enter “Heavy Metal” combat to see who caresses some “awesome bewbage.” At this point, the amount of animated breasts is so over the top, even the men, buildings, and weaponry are covered in boobs. In reality, they’re fighting half-naked in a sandbox with the whole town watching. As Gerald apologizes, we get a nice Eliot Spitzer press conference reference and find out that Kenny has moved on to another drug. Remember kids, addicts will always find a way to get high!
By sticking with a simple storyline, “Major Boobage” was easily the strongest episode of South Park this season, and reminded me that they don’t have to stray too far from town to have an interesting story. You know, only to a cartoon from 1981. Seriously though, you really can’t argue against an episode overrun with rockin’ tits and cat piss.
South Park Major Boobage Review: 6 Arbitrary Bouncing Boobs Out Of 6
Holy. Shit. Okay. I know last week I said it’s difficult as a South Park fan to be shocked anymore, but five minutes into Wednesday’s episode I was proven horrifically wrong. Didn’t see that coming.
This week’s episode, titled “Britney’s New Look” delves into our culture’s endless obsession with celebrities. In the sickening new age of TMZ, Perez Hilton, and any other blogger smart enough to open Microsoft Paint and draw cum shots on people’s faces, our thirst for celebrity blood is reaching critical mass. “Britney’s New Look” simply takes its rightful end..You know, with a little corn harvest and camel toe thrown in for good measure.
It open with the boys being forced by Randy Marsh, Stan’s dad, to watch a presidential debate. The debate is interrupted by the local news to cover BRITNEY WATCH! It turns out Britney was trying to get away from the pressures of Hollywood by going camping in Colorado. Instead of getting away, Britney is photographed pissing on a ladybug. There’s an awesome, recurring gag about people’s reactions to the photos. The newscaster mentions that the offensive bits have been blurred in the photo, and when they cut to the pic, Britney’s face is blurred instead of the ridiculous stream of piss shooting out of her. The boys learn that the guy who took the photo sold it for $100,000, so they want their share and decide to get a picture themselves.
At the beginning of the episode, I started thinking back to the Paris Hilton episode, where Butters was forced to dressed up as Mr. Biggles the bear. Just as that thought pops in my head, here comes Butters dressed like a squirrel. Their plan is to get a picture of Britney taking a dump on a squirrel. God, I love Butters. The boys sneak in the room pretending to be her kids, and when Britney finds out she’s been duped again, South Park takes a step beyond Cartman giving Kyle AIDS. Britney pulls out a shotgun from behind her back and puts it to her head. For sure I thought the kids would stop her. But oh no. Britney blasts her head clean off (Well, sort of). What follows is the greatest 30 seconds of silence ever. The four kids stand, wide-eyed, mouths agape, in pure shock. And that, dear nerds, is how you shock.
But wait, there’s more! Because Britney’s not dead! The rest of the episode, Britney only has half a head, much like a zombie from the Dawn of the Dead remake. Instead of talking, she just gurgles, sounding a lot like Scuzzlebutt. So, for literally 20 minutes, Britney Spears is running around with only a lower jaw. The paparazzi and media seem to ignore this malady, but continue to point out her camel toe and scars.
At this point, the kids just want to get Britney to safety. Their plan is to take her to the North Pole, but the episode takes another twist to hammer its point home. It can never just be a straight story about a pop star with half a head on South Park, can it? It’s revealed there’s a giant conspiracy to kill Britney, or at least, a need for her to die. The hordes of people chasing her relate her imminent death to human sacrifice, and point out that she needs to die for the corn harvest to be good this year. I guess Trey Parker figured, ‘Well, this episode is batshit crazy as it is, why not throw a corn harvest in there?’ It all ends with a frightening scene of the mob surrounding Britney, closing in on her and taking pictures of her until she curls up and dies. It’s spot-on satire, even if I don’t completely agree with the sentiment.
This was a quintessential South Park episode; shocking, twisted, sharp, and hilarious. It makes some great observations about our celeb-obsessions and the media’s contribution to it, and nobody can say Britney Watch! like Trey Parker. I only have one complaint. Referring back to the Paris Hilton episode, Matt and Trey railed against her as a talentless whore who was teaching children how to act like spoiled sluts. But this episode, they take the side of celebrities who are unable to escape the spotlight. It’s hard to distinguish some of Britney’s behavior with what Paris has done in public, so their stance loses some of its impact. You’re sending a mixed message if you humiliate Britney Spears by having her stumble around headless for 20 minutes, and then tell people to lay off in the same episode. But that’s what’s great about South Park. They’re equal opportunity offenders whose sole task is to point out how ridiculous both sides are, and let Nerds like me try and sort it out.
Britney’s New Look Rating: 35 Arbitrary Stars out of 40.
Well, one thing’s for sure about the newest episode of South Park: no one can claim “The Simpsons already did it!” In the episode, Cartman undergoes a routine tonsillectomy, but a fateful mistake ends up infecting him with the HIV. He soon finds out AIDS was more of an “80′s and 90′s” disease and most people think of it as pretty retro now. He couldn’t even get Elton John to perform at his benefit. Jimmy Buffet shows up in his place to sing a touching version of “AIDS Burger in Paradise.” When Kyle can’t contain his joy at the irony of the situation, Cartman drops some HIV blood in his mouth while he’s sleeping. I wish I were shocked to have just typed that sentence. After Kyle and Cartman fight, the two of them travel to see Magic Johnson about a cure, which, of course, is money.
This was one of those episodes of South Park that’s funny in its audacity, but not as laugh out loud (The kids call it LOL because they have no respect for words) as episodes with lighter themes. I loved the little touch of Cartman changing his outfit to HIV appropriate duds after being diagnosed, and the “I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive” joke that ran throughout. Also, the ongoing feud of Kyle and Cartman was taken to a completely new level, and it’s hard to think what Cartman could possibly do to top this. Although he did feed Scott Tenorman his own parents in a bowl of chili one time.
South Park always has a message embedded in it, and this time it was about cancer. Okay, not directly, but the point of the episode was to say AIDS has fallen out of public interest in favor of cancer. I thought it was a good storyline until the end. It was clever, but there’s only one logical conclusion to a South Park AIDS story: Visit Magic Johnson. Magic isn’t played for laughs, but his money is. The cap of the episode is that money is the cure for AIDS. The problem with this is that everyone makes that assumption. Magic Johnson has money and can afford the best treatment, so money must be the cure. Unfortunately, it’s not a revelation because it was such an obvious, direct comparison.
A lot of times, Trey Parker will take winding paths to get to his point, making it a surprise when it’s revealed. As Kyle and Cartman were looking for something special that protects Magic from AIDS, I was fully expecting something alien or completely off the wall, which I guess is what happens after watching South Park for 10 years. Instead, it was money. They did take it as far as they could, melting down cash and injecting it right into Kyle, then showing a man proclaiming the end of AIDS to a poor African village. But something about the ending didn’t pop with me.
Oh well, at least it gave Jimmy Buffet an excuse to sing “Cure Burger in Paradise.”
Tonsil Trouble Rating: 7,006 arbitrary stars out of 10,000
