Forget Weekend Revelations! Today it’s all about The Dark Knight! If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s probably best you don’t read this post yet. While the site is generally spoiler-free, the movie is already out in theaters, so you’re on your own, pal!
Revelation #1: The Dark Knight Itself is a Revelation
Nothing I say can really add much to all the positive reviews out there for this movie. Simply put, it is great. It’s probably much better than any comic movie ever should be, and the record-breaking box office numbers are proof that even people who don’t like comic book movies are getting out there to see this movie. Perhaps some are seeing it out of morbid curiosity, but that curiosity vanishes once you’re sucked into the story. I get the Heat references (it opens with a bank robbery! The good guy and bad guy sit down for a chat!), I get The Godfather references (intercut tragedies!). There’s a realism to Dark Knight that doesn’t exist in comic book movies. Take away the guy in the bat costume and you’ve got a movie about a crazy criminal. But there’s one big difference between this movie and the previous classics mentioned: In The Dark Knight, the characters we’re following are the good guys. The Corleone family is essentially out for themselves. They steal and murder, and their deaths and tragedies are expected/deserved. Sure you have an emotional attachment to them, but in the end, they choose to live a life that isn’t known for its retirement plan. In The Dark Knight, we’re watching good people forced into gut-wrenching moral decisions, making it all the more tragic when they fall.
There are themes in this movie not previously touched on in comic book movies, and now that these ideas are out there, it makes comic films that came before it seem trite. Oh, poor Spider-Man can’t get the girl because he’s a superhero? Awwwww. Superman is sad that the girl he loves is getting married? Tough shit. Batman’s girlfriend is surrounded by 30 oil drums, and he was just given the wrong address! His moral code is costing the lives of innocent people, but in order to break his code he’d have to take the life of another human being, forever corrupting his values.
This movie is a wicked kick in the face to comic book movies. You can be cartoony, punny, loud, and dumb, or you can aspire to something more. Much, much more!
Revelation #2: The Joker Could Be The Best Villain Ever
This really shouldn’t be a revelation. The Joker is already one of the best comic book villains created. But played here, with no backstory, with no motivations other than anarchy, he finally becomes something truly fearful and realistic. Nicholson’s Joker seems downright silly now. In fact, every single Batman villain that came before Ledger’s Joker is a joke. Also, compare Eckhardt’s Two-Face with Tommy Lee Jones, and you’ll get a clear idea of how this movie is striving for something so much more. Back to the Joker. Not only is the performance memorable and chameleon-like (just try seeing Heath Ledger past the paint and greasy hair), but it raises the stakes of the movie to incredible heights. This is someone Batman can’t comprehend, therefore he doesn’t know how to battle him. As smart as Bruce Wayne is, he follows a clear line: Criminals aren’t complicated. The Joker throws that principle out the window, not giving Batman leverage on anything.
Any time the Joker is on the screen, the movie lights up. Every scene with him is memorable. Watch him exit the hospital and be disappointed/confused that his explosion didn’t go off the way he wanted. Watch when he asks the cop if he wants to know which of his friends were cowards. Watch the disappearing pencil trick. Watch the eerie final conversation, where Nolan skillfully flips the camera on a hanging Joker, making him seem weightless, floating out in space. There’s something haunting about it.
Revelation #3: No, This Movie Isn’t Perfect!
For all the praise, it’s easy to gloss over some of the movie’s confusing moments. For instance, why did Gordon fake his own death? Was he preparing for this for a while? How did he know for sure there would be an attempt on the Mayor’s life, and how did he know he’d be the one to save him? Why would he put his family through such a tragedy? Was it a plan to capture the Joker? If so, why would Jim Gordon be the only guy who could exit a truck and rest a shotgun on the Joker’s neck? If there was a little setup before this happened, it may have made more sense, but it almost comes off like a cheap pop. Then, you’re so excited that he’s back, you forget to ask why he left in the first place. Yeah! Gordon’s not dead! Wait, why did he f–, ooh, the Joker’s in jail. Let’s watch!
Second, Harvey Dent sure turned quickly. One moment he’s the symbol of unflappable justice, the next moment, he’s given a speech and a gun by the Joker and he’s off threatening children. Seems like a big leap. I understand his sadness for Rachel and his face, but refusing treatment and skin grafts? Come on buddy. That’s unsightly! It’s necessary for Dent to fall, but I feel like it could have been more of a slow burn.
Third, the action is still confusing. Batman Begins suffered from the same problem. Any time Batman is cleaning up a bunch of thugs, it’s all close ups, darkness, and flying limbs. You don’t get a clear sense of what’s happening, and if that’s the point, they succeeded. It doesn’t mean I have to like it. Also, the climactic ending could have done without the Daredevil-like sonar system. It would have been just as effective if Morgan Freeman was like, “There’s some guys to your left.”
Revelation #4: This movie is not that violent. But it’s extremely suggestive.
A lot of people are saying this movie should have been rated R. It shouldn’t have. When you go back and watch it, you’ll realize there’s very little violence aside from Batman punching people. The pencil trick, the “Why So Serious” knife speech, all these things happen off screen. And maybe this is a product of the confusing action I just referred to, but it doesn’t take away from the deadliness of the Joker. Okay, I’ll admit that Two-Face is pretty disgusting, and Eric Roberts falling on his legs hurts, and there are a few exploding bodies, and Batman’s punches on the Joker are pretty brutal, and, er…
Revelation #5: This Movie is Violent.
I change my mind.
Having seen Dark Knight twice already, I would be a fool not to proclaim it my favorite comic book movie of all time, upending Spider-Man 2 and X-Men 2. It has truly set a gold standard for what you can accomplish in a summer film while still entertaining and providing applause-worthy moments. This is it, folks. The best movie of the summer, possibly of the year. I only have one more question…
Hey there. How was your weekend? Mine was filled with revelations. See, the weekend is generally the time I watch the most movies and television, usually compiling a list in my head of notes and observations that would otherwise go unheard. Aren’t you lucky? This one’s Iron Man-heavy, so if you haven’t seen it…what’s your problem?? Go see it now!
Revelation #1: Iron Man Lived Up To The Hype
This is a rare thing. A movie that actually lived up to my own hype! Iron Man hit all the right notes — it was funny, it didn’t put the weight of the world on its shoulders, it had a great leading man, it had simple, satisfying action, and it had a Stan Lee cameo. I was deeply satisfied by the end of the movie, even after sitting through 30 minutes of credits to see 30 seconds of ol’ Ultimate Eyepatch. Were there things about the movie I didn’t like? Sure…
Revelation #2: Origin Stories Bore Me.
At this point, we’ve seen it all when it comes to origin stories. There’s a section of Iron Man that did have me checking my watch, and it was around the 15 minute mark. We know Tony Stark is going to build a giant robot. We know he’s going to escape. So let’s get on with it already! I feel like we spent a lot of time in a deep, dark cave, simply waiting for the inevitable action to start. Don’t get me wrong. I like my action to be nicely balanced with story, but I guess it goes back to my boredom with origin stories. I’m well aware of what’s going to happen — even my girlfriend was well aware, and she’s never even accidentally brushed up against a comic book in her life. This wasn’t detrimental to the movie, because the payoffs were so rewarding, but I’m going to suggest Marvel make one big movie called, Origin Stories, where they just cover their bases and tell every origin story of every Marvel character and get it over with.
Revelation #3: Some Actors Get Comic Book Movies, Some Don’t.
Is it me, or did Jeff Bridges look like he was having the time of his life in Iron Man? Seriously, the dude (Or should I say, The Dude) was chewing scenery everywhere he went, and I loved every minute of it. He totally understood the point of his character and just how big to make him in the movie. I mean, just look at his head! You have no choice but to have fun when you look like that! On the flipside, Terrence Howard looked like he was in the wrong movie the entire time. Supposedly a hard-ass military leader, Jim Rhodes comes off as soft and whiny, making it hard to believe anyone would listen to him in that war room. I also had a hard time telling if he was best friends with Stark, or if he truly hated him. He would run hot and cold between scenes, and even when he knew Stark was in danger of being shot down by the military, he didn’t seem all that interested.
Revelation #4: Mario Kart Wii Destined to Erase Hours of Productivity From Your Life
Mario Kart Wii is pretty much like all the other Mario Karts. You should feel embarrassed that you’re playing such a simple game, but it’s so addictive, you don’t care that 7 hours of your life have disappeared into the ether. The steering wheel is simultaneously an unnecessary peripheral and an experience-changing addition. The control is very intuitive. You lean the wheel left, you turn left. It’s tight enough that you don’t have to overcompensate when straightening out of a turn, so you don’t feel like you’re sliding all over the track. And there’s really no learning curve. It makes sense from the moment you pick it up. There really isn’t anything new to this edition aside from the Wii-style controls, but it honestly doesn’t matter. The core gameplay is so fun, you’ll forget that you already played this on the Gamecube just a few years ago.
Okay, you’ve seen the worst, now find out what I think is the best. This list only includes “Superhero Comics,” so movies like A History of Violence, Road To Perdition, and American Splendor are exempt.
The Best
#5 Superman II
Superman II does things that would be mocked mercilessly if they were included in today’s comic book movies. There are cheesy jokes all over the place (any scene with Otis, or the part where the man is making a call on a pay phone, gets blown away, but stays on the phone). But it doesn’t matter. There’s a sheer joy present in Superman II that most movies today don’t dare attempt. And future on-screen comic romances can learn many a thing from Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder. Now, kneel before Zod..and Superman II!
#4. The Crow
The Crow is forever linked to Brandon Lee’s untimely death during filming, further adding to the mystique of this 1994 comic classic. Drenched in rain and shadows, The Crow is undoubtedly the darkest comic book movie out there, its central themes of loss and vengeance not quite as sunny as “With great power comes great responsibility.” I was captivated by the mystery of Brandon Lee, and his haunting performance is an oddly appropriate end to his short career. When it came out, this movie’s soundtrack was in constant rotation among my friends, with original tracks from Nine Inch Nails, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Cure. Plus, any time you can put Ernie Hudson to use, you’re doing something right.
#3. Batman Begins
When Christopher Nolan took on the task of pulling Bruce Wayne from the ashes of Batman & Robin, I had no choice but to be optimistic. 8 years after the worst comic book movie on the planet came out, there was nowhere to go but up. I just didn’t realize how high Nolan would raise the bar. The Batman of Batman Begins is vicious, brutal, and frightening — a true first for the on-screen Dark Knight. Everything about this movie works (okay, maybe not Katie Holmes), from the origin story and training with Liam Neeson to the practical creation of Batman’s gadgets. Nolan took the character seriously, transformed him from a campy cartoon to a brooding vigilante, and turned out one of the best comic book movies ever.
#2. X-Men 2
My top 2 comic book movies are in constant battle with each other, depending on my mood. But as of right now, X-Men 2, or X2, or X-Men 2: United, or whatever the hell you want to call it, stands as my number two favorite comic book movie. I wasn’t a huge fan of the original movie, mostly because telling the origin story of 10 different characters can get a little tedious. Freed from those obligations, X2 lets it rip with huge action setpieces, genuinely interesting character development, and an ultra-violent Wolverine. By the way, after X-Men 3 came out, and Wolverine was turned into a sniveling feline better suited for Spider-Man 3, Wolvie’s ferocity in X2 was magnified tenfold. X2 is a nearly perfect comic book movie, adding new characters to the fold while balancing the original cast’s stories with the right mix of action and emotion.
#1. Spider-Man 2
Looking at this list, you may think I am a sequel whore. The truth is, coming into comic book movies, I already know the origin story. The original Spider-Man left me wanting so much more. Sure, it was a good introduction to the character, but the confrontations with Green Goblin were essentially two guys in masks standing next to each other. No real drama there. But with Spider-Man 2, we were given a complex, sympathetic villain, a deeper sense of Spider-Man’s responsibilities, and NO Macho Man Randy Savage. The sequel also allowed Sam Raimi to flex his directing muscles, creating memorable scenes such as Doc Ock’s awakening, the unreal train sequence, and a little bit of that joy I mentioned earlier in the form of this:
So there you go. You may disagree with some of the choices. V For Vendetta or Hellboy, or even Sin City could have snuck in there. But I have a personal attachment to each of the five movies above, and it’s gonna take a lot to shake them off the list. I’ll let you know later if Iron Man was up to the task.
In celebration of Iron Man’s release on Friday, I thought it would be appropriate to put out my personal list of Top 5 Best and Worst comic book movies. With a high possibility that Tony Stark may dislodge someone from the Top 5, I thought I’d get my list out there first before he has a chance. And, just because people love “Worst” lists, I’ll start with my 5 most hated comic book movies.
THE WORST
#5. Fantastic Four
Okay, so obviously the clip above isn’t from the feature I’m referring to, but since the 1994 version was never actually released, it’s disqualified. Instead, we’ve got 2005’s Fantastic Four. Talk about wasted opportunities. Here you have four characters with really cool abilities and what do they do with them? Stop traffic. Seriously, the action in Fantastic Four is relegated to each character simply showing off what they can do, with no real practical application or reason. I was never a huge F4 fan, and this movie did nothing to convince me otherwise. I was so disappointed in this movie that I didn’t even bother seeing the sequel, which is probably the only reason it’s not on this list.
#4. Spider-Man 3
Maybe I’m to blame for my own hyping of Spider-Man 3. Coming off of Spider-Man 2, I had such high hopes for this movie that almost every aspect of it failed. There was too much crying, too much dialogue through phone conversations, too many characters, too little plot development, too little respect paid to Venom, and too much Emo Peter Parker. Seriously, dude is overtaken by an alien suit and all it does is give him eyeliner, make him dance, and become a jazz pianist? I would say there were roughly 800 tears shed in this movie, 200 of them by me in the theater. While not nearly as bad as the other movies on my Worst List, Spider-Man 3 was a huge disappointment, and sometimes that hurts more.
#3. Spawn
I’m very pleased Spawn has become a movie time forgot. I saw this in theaters, and having been a huge fan of the HBO cartoon series, was fired up to see a dark, live action vision of The Devil’s soldier. Instead, I got Martin Sheen in a beard, John Leguizamo in a fat clown suit blowing farts, and a sad, whiny Spawn. Oh, and it was PG-13.
#2. Catwoman
Oh. God. No. Don’t even try watching all of the above clip. 20 seconds is all you need.
#1. Batman and Robin
1997 could have been the year that killed the comic book movie. First Spawn, then…Batman and Robin. If you ever wanted a manual on how to kill a successful movie franchise, B&R gives it to you step by step (Step One: Put Nipples On Everything). This movie is a disaster from the first frame — overcrowded, campy, and a definitive low point for both Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman George Clooney. That’s quite a feat!
Other movies to narrowly miss my personal Bottom 5: The Crow: City of Angels, Steel, Ghost Rider, Elektra, Superman IV, and Judge Dredd. Most of them just didn’t have high enough expectations to insult me. Although The Crow 2 was close. Top 5 Best Movies coming up next.
Okay, I haven’t written anything about the Wolverine prequel, or as it’s now known, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” just in case you thought this was a movie about Michigan college sports. The branding of “Origins” means there will be multiple movies (Magneto is already confirmed), and I’m just not ready for “X-Men Origins: Storm.” We all know what Halle Berry did to “Catwoman.”
Anyway, Wolvie is gathering a pretty decent cast: A Hobbit, Tim Riggins, Van Wilder, and Cotton Weary. Here’s the actors and their characters:
Ryan Reynolds … Deadpool
Taylor Kitsch … Remy Lebeau / Gambit
Liev Schreiber … Victor Creed / Sabretooth
Dominic Monaghan … Barnell Bohusk / Beak
The most interesting casting for me is Taylor Kitsch playing Gambit, the Kinetic Cajun. (I just created that nickname for him. Feel free to spread it around the internet.) Gambit is one of those X-Men characters who was huge in the 90’s because he had an accent (on paper) and got it on with Rogue, thereby attributing his popularity to jealousy. His over-the-top personality and his ability to throw kinetically-charged playing cards might be too cartoony even for a comic book movie, but I’m interested in seeing Kitsch’s range as an actor and this is certainly a long way from Dillon, Texas.
Other Things to Note: Liev Schreiber’s Sabretooth will probably not be as gigantic as Sabretooth in the original film…For some reason, Will.I.Am (God, I hated typing that) from the Black Eyed Peas is in this movie…I have never heard of “Beak” but according to Wikipedia, he’s a mutated man-bird with the power of, er, limited flight. What kind of a half-assed mutant is that?…Wait, why is Gambit involved in a Wolverine Origin story?
Of course, at the heart of it all is Hugh Jackman, who has a chance to redeem Wolverine from the crying, love-stricken feline we saw at the end of X-Men: The Last Stand (too…many…subtitles). Wolvie’s origins are bloody and dark, and the only tears we see on screen should be when he tears holes in people!
In true nerd fashion, I received a text message from a friend of mine a few days ago that said “check out spidey controversy peterandMJ done.” I had to follow up on this cryptic, and clearly distress-driven message. I mean, he couldn’t even bring himself to separate peterandmj with spaces, indicating his desire for them to remain together (Or maybe it’s just hard to text while you’re driving). The bottom line is this: Peter Parker and Mary Jane are no longer, at least in the comic book world. Let’s discuss!
Spidey’s main book, “The Amazing Spider-Man” started a new arc titled “Brand New Day” which comes out three times a month (Three times?? That requires dedication, even from a nerd). In it, Aunt May is on her death bed, but Peter and Mary Jane are visited by Mephisto, a dude who wears a cape but no shirt underneath. A superhero who can’t properly dress himself clearly has priority issues, so he makes a bizarre offer to save Aunt May in exchange for Peter and Mary Jane’s marriage vows. Oh, and he also made everyone in the world forget that Peter Parker revealed himself as Spider-Man. So we’re basically looking at pre-1987 Spider-Man (before he married MJ).
Every year, it seems like two or three big events occur to shake up the comic world. Last year it was Civil War, which revealed Peter Parker’s identity to the world. Marvel said this would open up Spider-Man to an entirely new batch of stories, but they must have run out of those pretty quickly if they’re already resorting to another major change in his life. These types of events are good press for comics, as they always get national coverage. Everyone knows Captain America died last year. But ultimately, these attention-grabbing storylines run out of steam because the writers don’t plan far enough ahead. That makes it hard to invest in this new twist, because fans have been burned before. I bought Civil War and all the Amazing Spider-Man issues that coincided with it, and now I feel like I wasted my time because that entire story is erased.
I could demonstrate another level of nerdiness by continuing, but I don’t want to bore the casual readers out there. Just know that Peter Parker and MJ have split up, and they’ll probably be back together in a year.
Variety is reporting that the new Justice League movie just had a block of kryptonite jammed up its ass. Warner Bros. has decided to delay the project, pointing to possibly summer or late fall as a start. This is most likely because the script requires some tweaking, and that’s impossible due to the writer’s strike.
In addition, Warner didn’t exercise cast options, meaning all those names that have been announced in the past few weeks (Adam Brody as The Flash, Megan Gale as Wonder Woman, etc) could be relegated to Bizarro World status.
