Robert Downey Jr.’s career-changing movie is finally out on DVD after an excruciating 4 month wait. Well, 4 months since it came out in theaters. Probably 2 months since left theaters. It’s so difficult for a movie lover to wait SO long for movies to come out! How do we survive?? I remember years ago, when I had to wait an entire year for Terminator 2 to reach VHS, and even when it did, it was 100 bucks to buy!
Iron Man was my #2 movie of the summer, and it’s a no-brainer purchase. Plus, my aversion to origin stories allows me to skip past the first half hour!
The Verdict: I AM…BUYING THIS, MAN!
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Speaking of long waits, Forgetting Sarah Marshall came out wayy back in April. This is a hilarious movie that deserves a long life on DVD, settling nicely on the shelf next to 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up. It’s got Paul Rudd as a stoned surfer, Jason Segel as a mopey moper, and Kristen Bell as, well, a hot chick, and they’re all on top of their game. Russel Brand also makes a nice introduction to American audiences, even if he destroyed that goodwill with his MTV Music Awards hosting gig. All these positives make it easy to forgive the horrible and unnecessary inclusion of Jack McBrayer as a sexhausted newlywed and a fairly padded running time. Oh, and there’s some floppy ding dongs for the ladies.
The Verdict: Forget Renting. Buy the 3-disc special edition and watch Kristen Bell for 10 hours. In slow motion. (like my friend Mike will do!)
The Clone Wars cartoon starts this Friday at 9 pm on Cartoon Network. Watch it! If you love Star Wars, you’ll be home on a Friday night anyway. They had a preview on Cartoon Network this weekend, and the series looks phenomenal. Yes, this comes from an unapologetic Star Wars fanboy. But watching this preview, it’s hard to believe this will be on television every week. We have new Star Wars adventures every week on television! And it comes equipped with an Ackbar-style (Mon Calamari) Jedi!
Lucasfilm is the master of trailer-making, getting people’s hopes up beyond believable expectations, and then delivering an impressive product that people are nevertheless disappointed with, but look at that trailer! How can you’re a Star Wars fan?? — Whoops, deleted a few words there, or perhaps some Yoda-speak slipped in. How can you not be excited if you’re a Star Wars fan?? Thanks for pointing that out, Bloomfielb.
Revelation #1: Super High Me Proves Smoking Weed Is Much More Entertaining Than Watching Someone Smoke Weed. Er, so I’ve heard.
For those who don’t know, Super High Me is a direct-to-DVD documentary about comedian Doug Benson’s quest to smoke weed for 30 days and chronicle the results. Yes, it’s a rip-off of Super Size Me, and originated from a joke Benson tells on stage. It’s a funny idea that results in a mildly entertaining doc with a little insight into California’s battle of state and federal governments over medicinal marijuana. But even at 90 minutes, it’s a lot of fluff. The first half of the movie follows Doug while he doesn’t smoke weed for 30 days, followed by him smoking weed all day every day for 30 days. And the problem is that the two segments aren’t very different from each other. He doesn’t do much in the first half, and definitely doesn’t do anything during the second half. He takes a series of tests, which prove next to nothing about the effects of marijuana, and we never get the sense that he’s fatigued by the process. In fact, he loves it, and that’s much less interesting than a guy destroying his body with McDonald’s.
Revelation #2: John Krasinski Loves Magic!
I was lucky enough to go to the Magic Castle in Hollywood this weekend with the Wired Lady and her parents. The Magic Castle is always a good time. It’s really the only place you can wander around a big mansion, and it’s normal for someone to come up to you and say, “Would you like to see a magic trick?” It’s also the only place where it’s okay for you to respond, “Sure!” without someone taking off their pants.
At the Magic Castle there are various rooms where magicians perform. We waited 45 minutes to enter the “Close-up Gallery,” where sleight-of-hand magicians perform tricks 2 feet from your face. This is pretty awesome, but waiting 45 minutes was not, and when they finally let us in, there were already a few people in the seats. They didn’t have to wait 45 minutes. My first thought was, “Bastards!” but then I looked again and had a second thought. “Oh. That’s John Krasinski. Bastard!” So we took our seats in the front row, sandwiched between Jim from The Office, and a guy who made a giant Coke bottle appear out of thin air. Pretty surreal. Even more surreal was the fact that sitting next to John Krasinski was Stephen Merchant, of The (British) Office and Exec Producer on The (American) Office. Although you may know him as the guy who lost his swan in Hot Fuzz. After the show, someone leaned over to John Krasinski and said, “That magician was cool, but the coolest part of the night was seeing you, man!” And yeah, it’s cool to see John Krasinski, but can he produce a dove from a silver streamer? Illusions!
Revelation #3: I Think It’s Time For My Annual Viewing of Ravenous
Do you remember this movie, Ravenous? Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle, and cannibalism? It’s not very good, but every year my friend Nick and I find ourselves compelled to watch it again, and I don’t know why. It’s one of those movies that seems good in your head, but as you watch it, you become more and more depressed. I imagine it’s like being a cannibal. You know it’s bad for you, you know people would ridicule you for doing it, but you just can’t help yourself. And just like the human flesh in the movie, watching Ravenous can give you super powers. It can magically waste an hour and a half of your life.
Revelation #4: The Ending Of Casino Kinda Fizzles, But De Niro’s Oversized Glasses Save The Day.
Don’t get me wrong, I think Scorsese’s Casino is a great movie. but after 3 hours, you’re kinda hoping for a more satisfying conclusion. Sure it’s brutal to watch Pesci get buried alive, and to see Sharon Stone collapse in a coked-out heap in a hotel hallway (Oops, 13-year-old Spoiler Alert!!), but it feels like there should be more. Until we get to De Niro…
And those 9 seconds make the last 177 minutes worthwhile.
Remember that reference I made about Gervais starring in THE Office and Steve Carrell starring in The Office on Sticky Floor Friday? Seems they decided to battle it out at the Emmy’s last night….in a tickle fight.
Today on the Virtual Console for Wii, Mega Man 9 was released. And one look at this game will bring you back to the classic days of gaming. It was recreated in the old NES 8-bit style, complete with frame flashes and slow down. Check out the review below by IGN to be blasted back to childhood!
I bet Jerry Seinfeld would love Burn After Reading. It’s a movie about nothing, and it knows it, going as far as telling us during the final scene. But dammit, no one does nothing better than the Coen’s. They fill the entire 90 minutes of Burn After Reading with unique, hilarious characters who, even if you don’t like them, win you over with earnestness. For instance, Brad Pitt isn’t just stupid in this movie. He’s operating on a 3rd grade level. George Clooney isn’t just an adulterer, he’s a chronic adulterer with accessories. And John Malkovich is, well, John Malkovich, but drunk.
I’ve been a fan of Metallica for a looong time, and I like everything they’ve put out. I’m not one of those “They Sold Out!” fans who think Metallica’s talent lies in their hair follicles. I didn’t care when they cut their hair in the mid-nineties. In fact, I’m a fan of the Load/Reload era for the sheer fact that they tried to expand their musical range. They understand that bands must evolve or they die. Yes, their earlier work (…And Justice, Master of Puppets) is groundbreaking, but there’s nothing wrong with a little accessibility. Yet still, the fan base was clamoring for a back to basics approach, so Metallica attempted to reboot a few years ago with St. Anger. It felt a little like pandering in its last attempt to blow my socks off my feet. It was an entirely different sound for Metallica — passable but too raw and devoid of ear-bleeding guitar solos. It was disappointing for fans of both the old AND the new Metallica.
And now we come to Death Magnetic, their newest album. It took all these years and all those albums mentioned above to get to this point, and the result is astonishing. Gone are the tidy bursts of metal seen in Load. Kirk Hammett is given free reign to rip off solo after solo in songs that chug along for 7 minutes without releasing their grip. This is the Metallica album people were hoping St. Anger would be. This is the Metallica album that proves they can still thrash better than anyone. And you know what? It passes the ultimate test of a Metallica album: It’s dangerous to play in a car! Over the weekend, I found myself finally battling traffic with a soundtrack that matched my anger behind the wheel. Every track (with the exception of Unforgiven III) is intended to melt your skin off your face, which makes it difficult to stay relaxed when some jerk in a Bentley cuts you off. Not only is his car nicer than mine, but he’s a lousy driver, and James Hetfield is telling me to hunt him down without mercy.
Death Magnetic gets a rating of 5 car crashes out of 5. Let’s hope that’s not prophetic.
By the way, you lose Circuit City! I totally went to Target and bought my copy of Death Magnetic. Circuit City - 0. Target - 10! Dollars! Burn!
