Okay, this isn’t quite the casting I was expecting for Inglorious Bastards. Years ago, when Tarantino was tossing around names for his dream cast, I would expect to hear “Roth” somewhere in the mix. As in Tim Roth. Imagine my surprise when it was announced that some other Roth guy was announced to be a part of Inglorious Bastards. Eli Roth.

I’ve learned not to question Tarantino’s casting, but this has me cocking my head and whispering, “Are ya sure about that?” Eli Roth has been cast in Inglorious Bastards. Eli Roth, who has yet to direct a good movie, but apparently can talk a good enough game to get financing and trailer quotes from Peter Jackson. You may recognize Eli Roth The Actor from Deathproof, where he played a dick in a bar. He mugs almost as bad as Tarantino in front of the camera, and I’ve gotta assume since Tarantino (hopefully) won’t be in this movie, he gave Roth the role he would normally take. I understand they’re friends and Roth has a natural way with words, but aren’t there other actual actors out there who can take on this role?

The second bit of casting news announced in the past few days was that Ryan The Intern would also be a part of the movie. It’s crazy to think B.J. Novak will be in a Quentin Tarantino movie. No doubt he’s a talented guy. Not only is he an actor on The Office, but he also writes and produces for the show. So, I think this will be a fun guy to watch, but again, it’s not like we’re seeing a crazy announcement like, Stallone jumping on board.

Hey, at least we’ve got Brad Pitt, right? What do you think? Eli Roth and B.J. Novak standing toe to toe with Tyler Durden??

Pineapple Express steamrolled the Wednesday box office, packing $12.5 million into its pipe and smoking the competition, according to Variety. This isn’t very surprising, since audiences have been craving comedies this summer, and there’s been nothing until just a few weeks ago when Step Brothers was released. For whatever reason, studios feel August is the funniest month, because there are always a ton of comedies released. This month sees no less than 6 comedies for people to choose from. (Disaster Movie not included. File that under “Tragedy”). So it seems the combo of Seth Rogen, James Franco, Judd Apatow, and gigantic bags of weed is a winner. By the way, Dark Knight pulled in $5 million Wednesday. Looks like its reign at the top will end this weekend. Who’d have thought Batman would be taken down by a couple of potheads?

With the release of Pineapple Express, I thought it would be appropriate to post “Yeah! Weed!” in case you’re craving more pot humor. Because, you see, Pineapple Expressis about weed. Yeah! Topical Posts!

My newest correspondent checks in with his favorite movies of the summer!

My newest correspondent checks in with his favorite movies of the summer!

Hey Ryan Gosling, how many Adam Sandler movies did you watch in order to perfect your character in Lars and the Real Girl? My guess is seven. I kept hearing how surprisingly sweet this movie is, and how you end up caring for the doll like it were a damn volleyball with a bloody face on it. Well, the point of the movie is to care about Lars and hope that he works out whatever delusion he’s going through. Unfortunately, he’s never set up as a sympathetic character. Just a crybaby with a moustache. He’s been through some sort of trauma involving a brother who left him with a sad father. Poor Lars. Get over it, pal!

This is one of those quirky comedies that “surprises” people when it touches their heart. It seemed more like a challenge. “I bet you can’t make a movie about a guy who dates a sex doll and, now here’s the twist, make people care about them!” The main character wears sweaters that no one has worn in 20 years, if only because he looks funny in them. The entire town bands together to pretend that Bianca (sex doll) is real. There are no dissenters. No teenagers who come up and make fun of Lars to his face. It’s absurd, and further compounded by the fact that Lars is just not that likable. He’s mopey, like Adam Duritz-mopey. He cries at random, and his oddball, Sandler-esque performance is only lacking the violent outbursts, which never come.

I’m a fan of strange comedies that try something different, but Lars and the Real Girl is quirk for quirk’s sake. Was Lars ever a normal guy? It’s never explained. How can they simply say he’s going through a delusion and expect the audience to buy into it when Lars repeatedly has one-way conversations with a sex doll? It’s too creepy to relate to, and we’re never given a frame of reference for how wacky he was before he bought the doll. If you happen to have a real girl, do something with her other than renting this movie.

Wow, my first big interview, and it’s with The Dark Knight himself…Batman!

While waiting for Hellboy II to screen, I was treated to a barrage of new trailers (Hey, that there animated Star Wars movie looks pretty sweet!), when I noticed a movie sequence that has seen better days. During a trailer for the new The Mummy movie, they offered up yet another gigantic battle scene with thousands of people running around on a field. But that’s not what I want to retire…yet.

During that all-too-familiar battlefield scenario, the trailer also gave us a glimpse of a staple in the Field Of War Scene: A Sky of Arrows. This is when one army decides to fire a billion arrows at once, “blotting out the sun” as it was put in 300. Yes, it’s menacing to see a whole bunch of black darts flying through the air. We know. We’ve already seen it in Braveheart and Lord of the Rings and Gladiator and 300. I think I’ll throw in The Patriot too, because “A British Firing Line Volleying At Once” is pretty much the same thing. This has to be the most overused battlefield tactic in movies, and it never seems to be as effective as you would think. Most any dummy with a shield can deflect these things, and the side firing off the sky of arrows usually ends up losing the battle (Gladiator being the only exception I can think of).

A Sky Of Arrows, consider yourself retired!

I know “A Sky Of Arrows” is used in other movies. Can you think of any?

While waiting for Hellboy II to screen, I was treated to a barrage of new trailers (Hey, that there animated Star Wars movie looks pretty sweet!), when I noticed a movie sequence that has seen better days. During a trailer for the new The Mummy movie, they offered up yet another gigantic battle scene with thousands of people running around on a field. But that’s not what I want to retire…yet.

During that all-too-familiar battlefield scenario, the trailer also gave us a glimpse of a staple in the Field Of War Scene: A Sky of Arrows. This is when one army decides to fire a billion arrows at once, “blotting out the sun” as it was put in 300. Yes, it’s menacing to see a whole bunch of black darts flying through the air. We know. We’ve already seen it in Braveheart and Lord of the Rings and Gladiator and 300. I think I’ll throw in The Patriot too, because “A British Firing Line Volleying At Once” is pretty much the same thing. This has to be the most overused battlefield tactic in movies, and it never seems to be as effective as you would think. Most any dummy with a shield can deflect these things, and the side firing off the sky of arrows usually ends up losing the battle (Gladiator being the only exception I can think of).

A Sky Of Arrows, consider yourself retired!

I know “A Sky Of Arrows” is used in other movies. Can you think of any?