Boom. Here it is! I’ve watched this several times and the one thing that stands out to me is that it’s going to look beautiful on the big screen. Earlier footage looked a little stiff, but this trailer has made me a believer. I’m still holding out to see how this whole, “rescue Jabba’s kid” storyline pans out. I have no idea why Jedi would be involved with kidnapping negotiations between a gangster and some renegades, except that it’s probably part of a bigger conspiracy. Also, if you’re wondering why Mace Windu sounds exactly like Samuel L. Jackson, it’s because it IS him. Kick ass!

Coming down off of last week’s Iron Man high, am I looking forward to Speed Racer??

August 15th is still a few months away, but the Clone Wars marketing machine is starting to warm up. StarWars.com released the official Clone Wars poster along with an announcement that the official Trailer will premiere TOMORROW, May 8th, at 7:58 p.m. on Cartoon Network, TNT, TBS, CNN, and Boomerang. I’m sure the big question is, what channel will you watch it on? And what the hell is Boomerang? I’m definitely intrigued to see how The Clone Wars develops as a feature, and this trailer should give us a good idea if it’s going to be Original Clone Wars-quality or…Ewoks.

Not a big movie week, but another music surprise!

New Nine Inch Nails Album – The Slip — FOR FREE!!

Okay, so last week brought the release of a free Nine Inch Nails single, but this week, Trent Reznor goes a step beyond Radiohead’s “Name Your Price” approach by simply releasing an ENTIRE ALBUM online for free. The past two months have pretty much been a dream come true for NIN fans — the release of Ghosts I-IV, a free single, AND a new album, and we’ve only had to pay about 5 bucks for all of it. By the way, Trent Reznor’s message to fans on his website? “Thank you for your continued and loyal support over the years – this one’s on me.” Awesome.

Click on the album cover or HERE to get The Slip!

THE VERDICT: YOU SHOULD ALREADY BE LISTENING TO IT!

Teeth

Best viewed with a group of friends, Teeth is part horror, part comedy, and all sorts of crazy. Described as a cautionary tale of teenage sexual angst, Teeth is the story of a girl who finds out she has teeth in her lady parts. It starts off looking like a teen comedy satire, then veers wayyy off the rails into horror territory until settling back into a sort of revenge pic. Seeing Dawn discover and harness her power is an interesting, and unsettling, journey with enough blood to satisfy gorehounds, enough female power to satisfy message-seekers, and enough detached penises to put a dildo factory out of business. It’s not for everyone, but Teeth is a strange movie worth experiencing at least once.

THE VERDICT – GRAB SOME UNSUSPECTING FRIENDS, RENT THIS, AND BASK IN THEIR SHOCKED REACTIONS

Hey there. How was your weekend? Mine was filled with revelations. See, the weekend is generally the time I watch the most movies and television, usually compiling a list in my head of notes and observations that would otherwise go unheard. Aren’t you lucky? This one’s Iron Man-heavy, so if you haven’t seen it…what’s your problem?? Go see it now!

Revelation #1: Iron Man Lived Up To The Hype

This is a rare thing. A movie that actually lived up to my own hype! Iron Man hit all the right notes — it was funny, it didn’t put the weight of the world on its shoulders, it had a great leading man, it had simple, satisfying action, and it had a Stan Lee cameo. I was deeply satisfied by the end of the movie, even after sitting through 30 minutes of credits to see 30 seconds of ol’ Ultimate Eyepatch. Were there things about the movie I didn’t like? Sure…

Revelation #2: Origin Stories Bore Me.

At this point, we’ve seen it all when it comes to origin stories. There’s a section of Iron Man that did have me checking my watch, and it was around the 15 minute mark. We know Tony Stark is going to build a giant robot. We know he’s going to escape. So let’s get on with it already! I feel like we spent a lot of time in a deep, dark cave, simply waiting for the inevitable action to start. Don’t get me wrong. I like my action to be nicely balanced with story, but I guess it goes back to my boredom with origin stories. I’m well aware of what’s going to happen — even my girlfriend was well aware, and she’s never even accidentally brushed up against a comic book in her life. This wasn’t detrimental to the movie, because the payoffs were so rewarding, but I’m going to suggest Marvel make one big movie called, Origin Stories, where they just cover their bases and tell every origin story of every Marvel character and get it over with.

Revelation #3: Some Actors Get Comic Book Movies, Some Don’t.

Is it me, or did Jeff Bridges look like he was having the time of his life in Iron Man? Seriously, the dude (Or should I say, The Dude) was chewing scenery everywhere he went, and I loved every minute of it. He totally understood the point of his character and just how big to make him in the movie. I mean, just look at his head! You have no choice but to have fun when you look like that! On the flipside, Terrence Howard looked like he was in the wrong movie the entire time. Supposedly a hard-ass military leader, Jim Rhodes comes off as soft and whiny, making it hard to believe anyone would listen to him in that war room. I also had a hard time telling if he was best friends with Stark, or if he truly hated him. He would run hot and cold between scenes, and even when he knew Stark was in danger of being shot down by the military, he didn’t seem all that interested.

Revelation #4: Mario Kart Wii Destined to Erase Hours of Productivity From Your Life

Mario Kart Wii is pretty much like all the other Mario Karts. You should feel embarrassed that you’re playing such a simple game, but it’s so addictive, you don’t care that 7 hours of your life have disappeared into the ether. The steering wheel is simultaneously an unnecessary peripheral and an experience-changing addition. The control is very intuitive. You lean the wheel left, you turn left. It’s tight enough that you don’t have to overcompensate when straightening out of a turn, so you don’t feel like you’re sliding all over the track. And there’s really no learning curve. It makes sense from the moment you pick it up. There really isn’t anything new to this edition aside from the Wii-style controls, but it honestly doesn’t matter. The core gameplay is so fun, you’ll forget that you already played this on the Gamecube just a few years ago.

Okay, you’ve seen the worst, now find out what I think is the best. This list only includes “Superhero Comics,” so movies like A History of Violence, Road To Perdition, and American Splendor are exempt.

#5 Superman II

Superman II does things that would be mocked mercilessly if they were included in today’s comic book movies. There are cheesy jokes all over the place (any scene with Otis, or the part where the man is making a call on a pay phone, gets blown away, but stays on the phone). But it doesn’t matter. There’s a sheer joy present in Superman II that most movies today don’t dare attempt. And future on-screen comic romances can learn many a thing from Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder. Now, kneel before Zod..and Superman II!

#4. The Crow

The Crow is forever linked to Brandon Lee’s untimely death during filming, further adding to the mystique of this 1994 comic classic. Drenched in rain and shadows, The Crow is undoubtedly the darkest comic book movie out there, its central themes of loss and vengeance not quite as sunny as “With great power comes great responsibility.” I was captivated by the mystery of Brandon Lee, and his haunting performance is an oddly appropriate end to his short career. When it came out, this movie’s soundtrack was in constant rotation among my friends, with original tracks from Nine Inch Nails, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Cure. Plus, any time you can put Ernie Hudson to use, you’re doing something right.

#3. Batman Begins

When Christopher Nolan took on the task of pulling Bruce Wayne from the ashes of Batman & Robin, I had no choice but to be optimistic. 8 years after the worst comic book movie on the planet came out, there was nowhere to go but up. I just didn’t realize how high Nolan would raise the bar. The Batman of Batman Begins is vicious, brutal, and frightening — a true first for the on-screen Dark Knight. Everything about this movie works (okay, maybe not Katie Holmes), from the origin story and training with Liam Neeson to the practical creation of Batman’s gadgets. Nolan took the character seriously, transformed him from a campy cartoon to a brooding vigilante, and turned out one of the best comic book movies ever.

#2. X-Men 2

My top 2 comic book movies are in constant battle with each other, depending on my mood. But as of right now, X-Men 2, or X2, or X-Men 2: United, or whatever the hell you want to call it, stands as my number two favorite comic book movie. I wasn’t a huge fan of the original movie, mostly because telling the origin story of 10 different characters can get a little tedious. Freed from those obligations, X2 lets it rip with huge action setpieces, genuinely interesting character development, and an ultra-violent Wolverine. By the way, after X-Men 3 came out, and Wolverine was turned into a sniveling feline better suited for Spider-Man 3, Wolvie’s ferocity in X2 was magnified tenfold. X2 is a nearly perfect comic book movie, adding new characters to the fold while balancing the original cast’s stories with the right mix of action and emotion.

#1. Spider-Man 2

Looking at this list, you may think I am a sequel whore. The truth is, coming into comic book movies, I already know the origin story. The original Spider-Man left me wanting so much more. Sure, it was a good introduction to the character, but the confrontations with Green Goblin were essentially two guys in masks standing next to each other. No real drama there. But with Spider-Man 2, we were given a complex, sympathetic villain, a deeper sense of Spider-Man’s responsibilities, and NO Macho Man Randy Savage. The sequel also allowed Sam Raimi to flex his directing muscles, creating memorable scenes such as Doc Ock’s awakening, the unreal train sequence, and a little bit of that joy I mentioned earlier in the form of this:

So there you go. You may disagree with some of the choices. V For Vendetta or Hellboy, or even Sin City could have snuck in there. But I have a personal attachment to each of the five movies above, and it’s gonna take a lot to shake them off the list. I’ll let you know later if Iron Man was up to the task.

Not much to talk about today.

Dreams are coming true all over the country today. This is pretty much the coolest (nerdiest) thing I’ve seen in a while.

In celebration of Iron Man‘s release on Friday, I thought it would be appropriate to put out my personal list of Top 5 Best and Worst comic book movies. With a high possibility that Tony Stark may dislodge someone from the Top 5, I thought I’d get my list out there first before he has a chance. And, just because people love “Worst” lists, I’ll start with my 5 most hated comic book movies.

#5. Fantastic Four

Okay, so obviously the clip above isn’t from the feature I’m referring to, but since the 1994 version was never actually released, it’s disqualified. Instead, we’ve got 2005′s Fantastic Four. Talk about wasted opportunities. Here you have four characters with really cool abilities and what do they do with them? Stop traffic. Seriously, the action in Fantastic Four is relegated to each character simply showing off what they can do, with no real practical application or reason. I was never a huge F4 fan, and this movie did nothing to convince me otherwise. I was so disappointed in this movie that I didn’t even bother seeing the sequel, which is probably the only reason it’s not on this list.

#4. Spider-Man 3

Maybe I’m to blame for my own hyping of Spider-Man 3. Coming off of Spider-Man 2, I had such high hopes for this movie that almost every aspect of it failed. There was too much crying, too much dialogue through phone conversations, too many characters, too little plot development, too little respect paid to Venom, and too much Emo Peter Parker. Seriously, dude is overtaken by an alien suit and all it does is give him eyeliner, make him dance, and become a jazz pianist? I would say there were roughly 800 tears shed in this movie, 200 of them by me in the theater. While not nearly as bad as the other movies on my Worst List, Spider-Man 3 was a huge disappointment, and sometimes that hurts more.

#3. Spawn

I’m very pleased Spawn has become a movie time forgot. I saw this in theaters, and having been a huge fan of the HBO cartoon series, was fired up to see a dark, live action vision of The Devil’s soldier. Instead, I got Martin Sheen in a beard, John Leguizamo in a fat clown suit blowing farts, and a sad, whiny Spawn. Oh, and it was PG-13.

#2. Catwoman

Oh. God. No. Don’t even try watching all of the above clip. 20 seconds is all you need.

#1. Batman and Robin

1997 could have been the year that killed the comic book movie. First Spawn, then…Batman and Robin. If you ever wanted a manual on how to kill a successful movie franchise, B&R gives it to you step by step (Step One: Put Nipples On Everything). This movie is a disaster from the first frame — overcrowded, campy, and a definitive low point for both Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman George Clooney. That’s quite a feat!

Other movies to narrowly miss my personal Bottom 5: The Crow: City of Angels, Steel, Ghost Rider, Elektra, Superman IV, and Judge Dredd. Most of them just didn’t have high enough expectations to insult me. Although The Crow 2 was close. Top 5 Best Movies coming up next.