Okay, since I feel the need to make up for the Batman debacle earlier today, here’s the new Incredible Hulk trailer! It’s Bruce Banner-sized, but if you want to check it out in HD or large, Hulk-ish formats, go to Apple.
Ed Norton is going to totally own this movie, and it’s always exciting to see Tim Roth. I like all the transformation stuff shown in this trailer, and you definitely get a MUCH better sense of how The Hulk will look and move. I’m still a little weary of all the CG, but I can’t deny the excitement of seeing the excessive mayhem and destruction in this trailer. I also can’t deny the Tony Stark crossover cameo that all these comic book movies so sorely miss.
There were a few versions of this up on YouTube, but they were taken down. This one still exists, so check it out while you can! The quality is the equivalent of a back alley Korean bootleg, but seeing Harvey Dent in action for the first time and getting a larger impression of The Joker make it worth enduring the horrible, out-of-focus parts.
**UPDATE** As you can see, the video no longer exists. Literally ONE MINUTE after I found this and posted it, it was taken down. Guess you’ll all have to wait until Sunday, when it’s officially released!
I haven’t seen The Golden Compass. I heard some OK things about it, but nothing that compelled me to run out and see it. Honestly, there’s just nothing coming out on DVD this week. I know I’ll end up seeing it, but it’s low on my list of priorities. Although, I have to admit that a children’s movie with supposed anti-religious themes is pretty intriguing.
VERDICT: BUY A COPY AND GIVE IT TO A PRIEST!
GAMES
Grand Theft Auto IV
Wow. I can’t believe I almost forgot this. Grand Theft Auto IV finally, FINALLY comes out today for the 360 and PS3. While I was pretty burnt out on GTA by the second sequel, GTA IV is getting OUTRAGEOUSLY GOOD reviews. IGN gave it a perfect 10 score, something they very, very rarely do. GTA IV is projected to make over $450 million dollars, far surpassing the take of all but two movies. Granted, people paying about 4 times as much for GTA, but that’s still an unbelievable number, and proof that the gaming industry will not be slowing down any time soon. If you’ve missed bashing hookers and running down cops, or are just a fan of games, pick this up now.
VERDICT: WHAT DO YOU THINK??
Mario Kart Wii
On the complete opposite side of the spectrum, Mario Kart is back! I’ve been playing iterations of this game since the Super Nintendo days, and it’s always a good time, especially with a group of friends. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever played this game single player. It’s very much a party game, if your idea of a party is playing video games (no girls allowed, er, would want to come). Nintendo really has a handle on simplistic fun, and Mario Kart is a great example of their strengths.
VERDICT: GRAB THREE FRIENDS AND A RED SHELL AND GET TO RACING!
MUSIC
Nine Inch Nails - Discipline
So, now that Trent Reznor is free from the bondage of record contracts, the dude’s just releasing music whenever the hell he feels like it. This is pretty much awesome. Late last week he released a free download for everyone, titled “Discipline.” If you want it, just go to this link and have it e-mailed to you. It’s pretty much awesome.
Hey there. How was your weekend? Mine was filled with revelations. See, the weekend is generally the time I watch the most movies and television, usually compiling a list of notes and observations that would otherwise go unheard. Aren’t you lucky?
Revelation #1: True Lies Is Still A Damn Fine Movie
Thank you TNT, for replaying this Cameron classic 54 times over the weekend. I was able to revisit the whole thing over a three-day period. This is only one of a handful of Arnold movies that I do not own on DVD. Why? Because I was foolishly waiting for a Special Edition that has never come. I can’t tell you how many times I saw this for $5.99 at Best Buy only for me to say, “I guarantee as soon as I buy this, the Special Edition will come out.” Well, I haven’t bought it. And the Special Edition hasn’t come out. But if I buy it, they’ll announce the Special Edition. My life is filled with hard decisions like this every day.
Revelation #2: Bulletproof Vests Are Magical.
20 channels away, I watched John Cena hold up a bullet proof vest to stop machine gun bullets in The Marine. I caught 3 minutes of a chase scene where Cena was hot on the trail of Robert Patrick, only to have his entire car get riddled with bullets, then get flipped over a cliff, and whle it was exploding mid-air, Cena hopped out and landed conveniently in a river. I immediately switched back to TNT. They don’t make ‘em like they used to.
Revelation #3: Obi-Wan’s Hair in Episode 2 Is RIDICULOUS!
I know Ewan McGregor made cracks about his mullet from Episode 2, but watching a few minutes on Spike this weekend, I was shocked at how out of control Obi-Wan’s hair is. The dude has the force, why not whip that thing into shape?
Revelation #4: In Many Ways, 28 Weeks Later Surpasses The Original
For one thing, using a helicopter rotor to hack through a field of The Infected is genius. And unlike 28 Days Later, the sequel doesn’t stumble nearly as bad in the third act. It keeps up the intensity for the whole ride, and holds up when viewed on the small screen.
Revelation #: My Girlfriend Has Never Seen Any Of The Indiana Jones Movies.
As if I needed another reason to watch them again. Add this to her list of “Movies I’d Never Seen Before Meeting The Nerd,” which also includes Star Wars (Any. And All.), Pulp Fiction, The Goonies, Lord of the Rings, and Terminator. Remind me to ask her what it was like to have friends as a child.
Hooray for Variety E-mail Alerts! This news story just floated into my inbox. Guillermo del Toro has officially signed on to direct The Hobbit and its mysterious sequel. He’s moving to New Zealand for the next four years to give us the next (er, first?) chapter in the Middle Earth saga. The second Hobbit movie apparently deals with the 60-year period between The Hobbit and Fellowship of the Ring. Does anyone else think Peter Jackson’s diarrhea of the running time will turn the sequel into a 60 hour movie?
Wow, we’re here already. The halfway point of Season 12. You know what means — Last South Park until October. Good God! Think of all the things that will happen between now and then (Indy, Iron Man, ALL of summer, the start of football, my untimely demise at the hands of an obsessed fan, the creation of an obsessed fan in my own mind, who I try to drive from my brain with self-performed brain surgery)! Wow, that’s a lot. Anyway, let’s get to it.
This week’s South Park doesn’t really have any dangerous keywords to bring weirdos to the site. In fact, there wasn’t too much edge to this episode at all. Sure, many people get brutally murdered, but really, the main point we’re supposed to take away is that historical re-enactment employees suck, and the pioneer times were tough.
The episode begins at the Pioneer Village, where the kids are taking a field trip. The employees all speak in an old timey accent and don’t break character. FOR ANYTHING. The goal of the Pioneer Village is to give the kids a living history of Colorado. But if anyone has actually been to these types of things, you know how awkward and embarrassing they can be. Mr. Garrison forces the kids to choose partners and hold hands until they get back on the bus. Not surprisingly, Cartman has trouble finding a partner. He even resorts to asking Kyle, who states, “I hate you, remember?” I got a laugh out of Cartman’s response — “Jesus, what have I ever done to you?” How quickly one forgets about purposefully transmitting AIDS when they need to find a partner. Luckily for me (though not for Cartman), the only other person without a partner is Butters. Butters is determined to hold Cartman’s hand until they are back on that bus. Pairing these two together provides the biggest laughs of this episode.
The kids tour the town, meeting the blacksmith and the gunsmith and so on. Cartman notices a “Super Phun Thyme” amusement center across the street and literally drags Butters along. While Stan is questioning the townsfolk’s devotion to their craft, police sirens are heard in the background. All of a sudden, a car busts through the gates and several men with guns get out. Stan and Kyle start looking for a phone, but the townsfolk are not being very cooperative. They won’t break character, even after one of their own is shot in the head. Did Trey Parker have a bad re-enactment experience as a child?
Meanwhile, over at Super Phun Thyme, we’re treated to an amusing montage of Cartman having an awesome time while Butters holds his hand. Cartman is singing the song playing under the montage, and it’s funny to see Butters get hit by bumper cars as he runs alongside Cartman’s car. I wanted to enjoy this more, but it felt like familiar territory. Like when Cartman had control of his own amusement park. After Butters pleads for Cartman to go back to the village, he reluctantly leaves Super Phun Thyme only to run into the cops. They think they’ve been busted for ditching. Butters has a breakdown, starts crying, and gives Cartman the weakest punch in the history of the universe. This is the beginning of several kick-ass moments between these two.
In Pioneer Village, we learn that the men with guns are actually robbers who just got away from a big heist at…Burger King. They made out with like, a handful of cash and 4 sacks of burgers. This leads to a great moment when the tech guy asks for his cut, and Franz, the leader (who looks suspiciously like Hans Gruber for no reason other than to remind us Hand Gruber is awesome) hands over some money and a hamburger. The tech guy riffles through the burger like it was cash. Great visual gag.
When Cartman and Butters see an opening to sneak inside, they climb up a traffic light but slip and fall. They’re saved only by their interlocked hands, and when they cut to the wide shot, we’re treated to yet another great visual gag of them hanging above the street. Now that I think of it, there were a lot of great visual gags in this episode.
The rest of the episode deals with the terrorists trying to get the code to some secret escape route, but the townsfolk refuse to break character. There’s not much to note here. The best part is when the work day ends and all the townsfolk break character, answering all the real-life questions the kids had during the crisis. Also, Franz gets the wrap-up speech about how Pioneer Village has a lot to teach us. It’s all very absurd, and kind of funny because it’s so pointless. But I felt that way about this whole episode. It was kinda funny. God bless Butters.
And that’s it for several long months. I was kinda harsh on a few episodes this season, but don’t mistake that for random internet hate crimes. I love South Park and would take their worst episode any day over pretty much any other show on television today.
South Park: Super Fun Time Review: 2 Whoppers out of 5
South Park Season 12 Mid-Point Review: 3 Arbitrary Stars Out of 5
Okay, so I thought I’d expand DVD Tuesday to include more than just movies. Especially in the summer, there’s an abundance of new music and video game releases that I should be mentioning, seeing as this is a nerd hub. Check it!
DVD
Cloverfield
Or as I’ve been known to call it, Cloverfuckinfield. There’s no denying the pre-release marketing on this movie was stellar. It got people interested in something with no real stars or big name director (although JJ Abrams as producer kinda helped). As for the movie itself, history will determine if it has any staying power. After seeing it, my friends had reactions ranging from, “The crazy beast was awesome!” to “I want my god damn money back!” I’m curious to see how this plays on the small screen, perhaps curbing some of the “nausea” that was being reported in theaters.
VERDICT: DROP SOME DRAMAMINE AND RENT IT!
MUSIC
Flight of the Conchords
If you saw the Flight of the Conchords HBO show, then you already know what to expect from this absurd duo who could be the love child of a Tenacious D, Beck, and Lord of the Rings three-way. If you haven’t seen them in action, Flight of the Conchords are a musical comedy duo from New Zealand. Mixing tons of different styles, the Conchords have a more varied sound than Tenacious D, but the songs aren’t as overtly funny. Maybe more clever. You can’t deny gems like “Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros” with the lyrics “They call me the Hiphopopotamus, my lyrics are bottomless… (5 seconds of silence).” Charming and more innocent than Tenacious D, Flight of the Conchords are also extremely talented musicians. I’m willing to find out if their comedy translates from TV to an album.
I have never hid my love of Lionel Richie. In fact, I created a drinking game celebrating his greatness (Someday soon I’ll have an instructional video up). So what do you get when you combine Lionel, Germans, and helium? Greatness.
For the sake of spreading “good buzz” for a really funny movie that deserves some box-office longevity, I’d like to throw my support behind Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was the #2 movie over the weekend (behind the mildly-recommended Forbidden Kingdom), but I’m hoping it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle over the next few weeks. The theater I saw it in was packed, and the response was overwhelmingly positive — like, laughing over jokes positive. The story was uneven, and was really nothing more than a series of scenes bunched together to milk the max comedic potential from the premise, but it doesn’t matter. Everyone in this movie delivered. Jason Segel — yes, he was mopey, but it didn’t reach annoying heights. He wrote a really funny script that’s tailored to his abilities, and it pays off. It’s very strange because, like all Apatow movies, it’s almost like you’re entering an alternate universe, because no one is playing the role they should be. The star of the movie looks like a dude you might actually know in real life. That adds a special quality that helps elevate these comedies above their contemporaries.
The rest of the supporting cast is stellar, with the exception of Jack McBrayer. I love him on 30 Rock, but his character here seemed a little out of place and shocking for the sake of shock. But Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Bill Hader, Mila Kunis — they all make the most of their screen time. And the Dracula finale is the strangest placement of a musical in a movie since “Sweeney Todd” in Jersey Girl. And yes, there is male nudity. Twice. It was outrageous and effective the first time. The second time, it was overkill. But hey, it’s at the end of the movie, and by that point, you’re willing to forgive anything, happy that you just laughed for two hours at a legitimate comedy.
If you haven’t seen this movie, go! It’s severely entertaining.
