Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! How did you celebrate? Here’s a glimpse into my celebration.

Not shown: A bootleg viewing of the Star Wars Holiday Special. This just in — It’s shockingly bad!

Thanks to my buddy Brad, I’m able to share with you the least convincing commercial for a video production company. Who needs a movie of your own memories when you can just watch this over and over again??

Okay, I announced our first winner last week, and now that it’s on DVD, the No Country Quiz is back on to find a second winner! Click on the most frightening man in the world below to take the quiz!

If for some reason clicking on Chigurh doesn’t work, CLICK HERE!

Here are the rules again:

Answer the most questions correctly. This time around, those who get all the answers correctly will be pooled together in an official sorting system (A Transformers Hat). I’ll tape it and post it on the site so nobody thinks I’m cheating. That’s it!

Wow. We’ve reached a milestone on Sticky Floor Friday. What is it?? Watch the video to find out!

Okay, I just read this Hollywood Reporter article and I’m frightened of the possibilities. At this very moment, the CW is talking with “Veronica Mars” creator Rob Thomas (not the Matchbox 20 guy) about bringing 90210 back to television. Now, before I go any further, I must say that I do not disguise my love for 90210. I literally grew up watching that show, from middle school all the way to college. The odd thing is that even when the show ended in 2000, I still didn’t look as old as they did in the first season. I honestly love 90210. My favorite episode is the one where Dylan’s dad dies in a car explosion. I taped it and wrote on the VHS label, “90210: Dylan’s Dad Has A Blast.”

So why am I worried about the show returning? Well, there aren’t any real details at this point, but since it’s on CW, I can guarantee it’s going to be about a new batch of hot, young, privileged kids. And if you think it’s easy to replace David Silver, think again! Anyone remember Saved By The Bell: The New Class? The only way I could get excited is if this new version features heavy doses of Dylan and Valerie Malone (aka Kelly Kapowski, aka Tiffani Thiessen). Now you see why I’m called a Nerd.

The thing that made 90210 special was that it happened in the 90′s, when television wasn’t as self-conscious as it is now. It was normal for Brenda to take a call at a teen hotline from a girl who was being abused by her boyfriend, or for Brandon to be dating a teenage mom, or for every character to develop a drug problem at some point during the series, and no one was yelling, “This is ridiculous!”

Since there aren’t any details, I’ll reserve judgment for now. But, I swear, if this show ends up being about Andrea Zuckerman and Jessie Vasquez’s love child, I’m gonna develop my own drug problem.

This video is basically a greatest hits of all the shit the characters have been through. How can you possibly improve on this??

Well, one thing’s for sure about the newest episode of South Park: no one can claim “The Simpsons already did it!” In the episode, Cartman undergoes a routine tonsillectomy, but a fateful mistake ends up infecting him with the HIV. He soon finds out AIDS was more of an “80′s and 90′s” disease and most people think of it as pretty retro now. He couldn’t even get Elton John to perform at his benefit. Jimmy Buffet shows up in his place to sing a touching version of “AIDS Burger in Paradise.” When Kyle can’t contain his joy at the irony of the situation, Cartman drops some HIV blood in his mouth while he’s sleeping. I wish I were shocked to have just typed that sentence. After Kyle and Cartman fight, the two of them travel to see Magic Johnson about a cure, which, of course, is money.

This was one of those episodes of South Park that’s funny in its audacity, but not as laugh out loud (The kids call it LOL because they have no respect for words) as episodes with lighter themes. I loved the little touch of Cartman changing his outfit to HIV appropriate duds after being diagnosed, and the “I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive” joke that ran throughout. Also, the ongoing feud of Kyle and Cartman was taken to a completely new level, and it’s hard to think what Cartman could possibly do to top this. Although he did feed Scott Tenorman his own parents in a bowl of chili one time.

South Park always has a message embedded in it, and this time it was about cancer. Okay, not directly, but the point of the episode was to say AIDS has fallen out of public interest in favor of cancer. I thought it was a good storyline until the end. It was clever, but there’s only one logical conclusion to a South Park AIDS story: Visit Magic Johnson. Magic isn’t played for laughs, but his money is. The cap of the episode is that money is the cure for AIDS. The problem with this is that everyone makes that assumption. Magic Johnson has money and can afford the best treatment, so money must be the cure. Unfortunately, it’s not a revelation because it was such an obvious, direct comparison.

A lot of times, Trey Parker will take winding paths to get to his point, making it a surprise when it’s revealed. As Kyle and Cartman were looking for something special that protects Magic from AIDS, I was fully expecting something alien or completely off the wall, which I guess is what happens after watching South Park for 10 years. Instead, it was money. They did take it as far as they could, melting down cash and injecting it right into Kyle, then showing a man proclaiming the end of AIDS to a poor African village. But something about the ending didn’t pop with me.

Oh well, at least it gave Jimmy Buffet an excuse to sing “Cure Burger in Paradise.”

Tonsil Trouble Rating: 7,006 arbitrary stars out of 10,000

The No Country quiz is over, and we have a winner! Congratulations to Todd Carney of Woodland Hills, California, for getting 4 1/2 questions correct out of 6! (1/2 a point for answering a question with “Unbelievable plot device to continue movie. Boo!”)

Todd will be presented with the winning mystery DVD in a magical ceremony in front of an audience of 3400 at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood, California. Todd, show up this Sunday at 8 pm in formal wear. You can just walk in, they know you’re coming.

The world will know which DVD I chose next week! (It won’t be Howard The Duck, even though Todd claimed it to be his favorite movie in the quiz)

Wow, am I excited for today! Not only are some great movies coming out on DVD, but Super Smash Bros. for Wii also comes out. Who’s ready to take me on? Nobody? Fine. Go get some DVDs instead.

No Country For Old Men

Okay. Finally. FINALLY! “No Country For Old Men” is on DVD! If you frequent this site, you know my feelings on this movie. It’s the Coen brothers at their best, creating a tense, bloody masterpiece that follows a man lucky to find a bag of money, but unlucky to have a remorseless psychopath wanting the bag back. It’s never clear whether he wants the money or if the bag complements his cattle gun, but it’s an exciting ride nonetheless. And my god, somehow they made Javier Bardem even MORE frightening on the DVD cover.

I only had a few entries for my “No Country For Old Men” quiz, and while I will announce the winner tomorrow, I’m also re-opening the contest to find a second winner. This time, I’ve made it easy on you. The movie is out on DVD. Go get it. Watch it. Then, fill out the quiz.

THE VERDICT: BUY IT, DUMMY!

South Park: Imaginationland

South Park is the greatest cartoon on television today. It remains consistently funny and irreverent, and every time it comes back on the air, lesser shows like Family Guy, and even recent seasons of The Simpsons, get put to shame. Last year, they had an epic 3-episode story arc titled “Imaginationland.” Rumor has it this would have been the next South Park movie, but for unknown reasons, that never came about. Need a reason to buy this movie? Here it is (sadly, you can’t find a clip, but the song still exists):

THE VERDICT: BUY IT!

Bee Movie

I saw “Bee Movie” in a theater with a bunch of children. I’ve had terrible experiences with children in theaters before. But after the first few minutes, the theater was surprisingly silent. I thought all the children were really well-behaved, but then I realized most of them were just sleeping. See, “Bee Movie” is not really a children’s cartoon. It’s a Seinfeld movie disguised as a cartoon. Some of the themes are too big for kids to wrap their head around. I mean, who wants to think about your purpose in life when you can go play in the dirt? That said, I enjoyed Bee Movie to a point. It hits a stride whenever Seinfeld’s humor comes through, but it’s pretty disjointed. It starts as a small story about bees in a hive, then veers into a courtroom drama for a while, with a little interspecies romance tossed in for fun. But it’s worth a look, especially if you’re a fan of Seinfeld.

The Verdict: RENT IT!

Good week for movies! You don’t like any of these? I’ll give you my friend code and stomp you in Smash Bros!

Last week I experienced the ultimate concert experience. Floor tickets to Foo Fighters at the world famous Forum. Now, I’d seen Dave Grohl and company open for The Police the year before at Dodger Stadium, and for the hour they were on stage, they ripped through a greatest hits set that would have been legendary had they not been followed by, you know, The Police. Dave Grohl rushed through the crowd, stood on speaker stacks in the middle of the field, and fired up the crowd — exactly what an opening band is supposed to do. But now I was experiencing them as a headliner. Foo Fighters at the Fuckin’ Forum!

The opening band was circus act Serj Tankian, the cartoony lead singer of System of a Down. He “la la la’d” through most of his solo album, and it was a fun little intro not to be taken too seriously, although Serj’s lyrics want you to think otherwise. His messages are politically driven but delivered in goofy, theatrical sermons, and ultimately you’re left wondering how he keeps his top hat on through all of it.

After a brief intermission, the lights went down, and the crowd on the floor herded towards the stage. A thunderous roar welcomed the Foos as they busted the show open with two songs off their new album. “Let It Die” is basically a reason for Dave Grohl to fire up his voice with his trademark concert scream, and “The Pretender” gave the audience something to sing to off the bat. From the start, Dave Grohl proved that he is the best frontman in the business. Running to each corner of the stage, Grohl would strike a pose and a spotlight would light up the crowd for him, giving everyone a chance to show some love. He made an announcement in the beginning stating, in his best Jack Black voice, “This is not the bargain show. This is the show where everyone who has to work tomorrow is fucked!” He wasn’t kidding.

The middle section of the show played out like a fan’s wet dream, with pitch perfect renditions of “Times Like These,” “Breakout,” “Learn to Fly” and “This Is A Call.” A genius design concept was the addition of a runway down the center of the Forum floor. This gave Grohl a chance to stroll through the middle of the crowd and tear off guitar solos, surrounded by thousands of adoring fans.

Now, the runway wasn’t just to stroke Dave’s ego. It also led to a secret second stage that dropped from the ceiling, allowing the band to perform an acoustic set to the back rows, or as Grohl joked, “All the people with dial-up.” Each member took a spot on the circular stage, including a pianist, a percussionist, and a hot cellist. They slowed things down with “Skin and Bones” and “Marigold,” and provided perfect sing-along opportunities by playing “My Hero,” and an astonishing version of “But Honestly” off the new album. “But Honestly” starts off acoustically, but crescendos into a full blown rock out, glued together when Pat Smear switched to an electric guitar. After that, the band ran off, leaving Dave alone to perform the first half of “Everlong” before magically re-appearing back on the first stage to deliver the song’s killer ending.

This is the exact moment the show went from amazing to “Holy shit, this is the best concert I have ever seen!” Dave Grohl has a knack for writing hooks that sing like anthems to ex-girlfriends, and the combo of “Monkey Wrench” and “All My Life” sent the crowd into rock bliss. Clearly, broken hearts are common. The show ended with a frenzy of shredding guitar and vocal chords, and I would have been happy going home there. But oh no. We weren’t done. The band returned for the encore, and Taylor Hawkins took to the mic. Just as I’m wondering, “Who’s manning the drums?” I see a lanky looking dude take to the drum kit. Taylor started to talk about a special guest playing with them, but we already knew who it was. Stewart FUCKING Copeland from The Police! They rocked through a fast-tempo cover of “Next To You,” and I think the 16 year olds in the audience were confused. It was an unexpected surprise that seemed like an afterthought, only because the rest of the show was so damn good. They closed with “Best Of You,” and I stumbled back to my car, my face effectively rocked off. After two and a half hours and not a dull moment, I can safely proclaim Foo Fighters as the best concert rock band of our generation.

The final Indiana Jones poster has been unleashed today. It looks exactly like this:

Click on the poster to see it bigger!

It fits perfectly into the canon of posters from the original movies, a canon I’ve created for you below. The only difference is that Ol’ Indy looks a bit puffier than previous installments.

What do you think?